The Lost Wallet: Jurassic Park
by Agent Malcolm
Summary: A Tale about a man's search for his lost wallet.


COMING SOON  
  
The Following Preview Has Been APPROVED For  
ALL AUDIENCES  
By The Fan Fiction Association of America  
  
  
  
[Blackness] [Fades] Matrix-like coding slowly begins scrolling down the screen.  
  
[Flashes] A shot of the Grand Canyon. We hear a loud squawking, but we don't see the source. We begin falling down into the canyon, as the squawking continues.  
  
[Flashes] A Pteranodon is free falling, when the wind catches beneath its wings, as it starts to glide down the canyon.  
  
FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW  
  
[Blackness] The Matrix coding begins scrolling down faster and faster.  
  
[Flashes] Alan Grant staring at a computer monitor. Abruptly the screen goes dark, and words begin to appear.  
  
SCREEN: The Matrex has you.  
  
ALAN GRANT: What the hell?!  
  
FORGET EVERYTHING YOU READ  
  
ALAN GRANT (V.O.): What's happening to me?  
  
[Flashes] A woman has her body up against Alan Grant's. She whispers into his ear.  
  
WOMAN: All I can tell you is that you're in danger.  
  
GRANT: Of what?  
  
[Flashes] A pan of a forest. All is still, all is quiet. Abruptly, the trees begin to shake, as something very large was plowing through them. With astonishing speed, a Tyrannosaurus rex bursts out through a gap in the trees.  
  
[Flashes] A shot of the ocean, we see a slim, long reptilian tail bobbing and swimming about. Suddenly a massive head of a Plesiosaurus bursts out of the water.  
  
ABOUT THE EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAUR  
  
[Blackness] [Fades]  
  
On a TV monitor we see three men in black suits and dark sunglasses approaching.  
  
MAN (V.O.): It is obvious you are an intelligent man, Dr. Grant. A man interested in the future.  
  
[Flashes] One of the Agents is sitting across the table from Alan Grant.  
  
[Flashes] The Agent stands up and walks around the table, where the other two join him. The Agent picks up a fossilized raptor claw off the table. With no warning, the other two pull Alan Grant out of his chair, and lay him on the table, facing them. The first Agent rips open Grant's shirt and dangles the fossilized claw over his exposed abdomen.  
  
Agent (V.O.): You are here because we need your help.  
  
The claw begins to animate, as if coming to life, it turns into an organic creature that resembles a snake or a fluke worm.  
  
Alan Grant's eyes widen as the Agent drops the creature on his navel.  
  
[Blackness]  
  
SOON THE MATREX WILL HAVE YOU  
  
Man (V.O.): Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrex is. You have to see if for yourself.  
* * * * *  
  
The Lost Wallet: Jurassic Spoof tm  
By Micah Prentice (Agent Malcolm)  
  
Prologue:  
  
Paul Kirby stared across the table at Dr. Alan Grant and his young assistant Billy Brennan; he smiled. Smoothing the tablecloth, Kirby says, "We've arranged for a private airplane to take us flying over Isla Sorna. And we want you to be our guide."  
  
Paul and his wife, Amanda, both look at Grant as they had just offered him an amazing gift. But Alan Grant just sighed. I must find a way to convince Grant to guide us to Sorna. No matter the cost, Kirby thought to himself. He tried a new tactic. "And of course we're prepared to make a sizable contribution to your research here," he said. Pulling out a checkbook from his pocket and opened it up, he continued, "I can write all kinds of numbers on this check. Just tell me what exactly would it take?"  
  
It was all an allusion. In fact, the Kirby's tricked him into going on a search and rescue mission to find their thirteen-year-old son, Eric. He never got paid, and once again almost lost his life to inGen's dinosaurs that inhabited Isla Sorna.  
  
After Grant's misfortune in Jurassic Park 3, all he wanted was to get back to his excavation site at Fort Peck Lake, Montana. And far away as possible from the Kirby family.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant turned into his excavation site, and drove towards an air stream trailer. Parked next to the trailer was a Cadillac, and a man standing next to it. As Grant got closer, he could tell it wasn't one of his students; it was Paul Kirby. "Jesus Christ," Grant mumbled to himself. "Why can't I be left alone?"  
  
As soon as Paul Kirby saw Grant driving up, he began waving wildly at him as he shouted, "Dr. Grant! Dr. Grant! 'Bout time you got back!"  
  
Grant sat in his truck for a few moments, and eventually decided to get out. He quickly walked passed Kirby and into the air stream trailer.  
  
"Dr. Grant?" Kirby said.  
  
Alan Grant entered into the trailer, not even acknowledging Kirby, slamming the door shut behind him.  
  
Paul Kirby walked back to the Cadillac; inside were Amanda and their son, Eric. "Is he coming?" Amanda asked. "Not exactly," Paul replied. "He, for some reason, doesn't feel like talking." "Go in there and ask him," Amanda said, as she gestured to the trailer.  
  
Paul Kirby stormed away from the car and back over to the trailer. He opened up the door and went in. Once inside, he took a look around the small living room. On a small coffee table were some books, he skimmed the titles: "Alan & Ellie by Yvonne Bartha," "The Making of Jurassic Park," "How to Survive in a Jurassic Park Sequel," "Site Wars: John Arnold at JPDatabase," and "Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton." Also there was a DVD, "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines." He picked up the "How to Survive in a Jurassic Park Sequel," as he says to himself, "This may come in handy later on." He also picked up the DVD. "I've been wanting to see this movie." He opened up the case and puts the DVD in the player.  
  
Suddenly the television comes alive as a voice over says, "The future has not been written. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves." Suddenly there is an explosion as a missile slams down on downtown Los Angeles California—  
  
Paul Kirby quickly goes to the kitchen section, and opened up the refrigerator; and began to have a look around. Its contents are mostly beer, but in the back something catches his eye. His hands fall across a bottle of expensive champagne. "Ah hah!" Kirby said to himself. He pulled it out and pops the cork—  
  
"What the hell do you're think your doing?!" Alan Grant snapped. "We were saving that!" "For today. I guarantee it!" Kirby said with a smile. "What in God's name are you doing here?" Grant demanded. "I have a proposition I would like to discuss with you, Dr. Grant," Kirby answered. "No," Grant snapped. "I have had enough of you Kirby! Why won't you just leave me alone?" Ignoring Grant, Kirby continued, "From what I understand you are contracted to appear in a total of three Jurassic Park films. Is that correct?" "Why? What have you done?" Smiling, Paul Kirby said, "I have found a way to have you return in Jurassic Park 4!" "No, no, no," Grant yelled. "I don't want any part of it!" "I want you to once again guide me and my family back to Isla Sorna where we must go in search of my most prized possession. My wallet. I lost it somewhere on that island during the last film. And I must find it!" "No."  
  
From the other side of the trailer, Billy Brennan shouted out, "Hey Kirby! You going to pour us some glasses of bubbly before it gets warm?" Paul Kirby didn't reply.  
  
"You can go to that island yourself Kirby. Didn't you learn anything from the last film?" Grant asked. "I can refer you to some others who always wanted to be in a Jurassic Park film: there's Michael Banno, Dinosaur_Neill, Rick Arnold, and Colin Farrell to name a few. Even Billy Brennan is rumored to return in the fourth installment."  
  
Billy jumped to his feet and stated, "I didn't sign no contract to appear in the next film!" Grant turned to face him. "Yes you did," he said. "I won't do it!" Grant turned to face Kirby. "And neither will I. Anyways, rumors about Jurassic Park 4 say they may go back to the original island from the first film. Or take place on the mainland with some type of sci-fi conspiracy government cover-up story."  
  
There was a long silence. Finally Paul Kirby spoke up and said, "Why do you think Joe Johnston had us survive in the last film if we were not meant to appear in the next installment? Just between you and me, Johnston was going to have Amanda attacked by the raptors while we were in the nesting area. But she begged and pleaded with Johnston to let her survive. She may have even banged him, too."  
  
All of a sudden, the door of the trailer flew open, and Amanda Kirby stormed in. "I heard that Paul! The reason I survived was because Johnston knew how great of an actress I am." "Amanda, darling," Paul said. "I thought I asked you to stay with Eric in the car, while I talked with Grant about our opportunity to be in Jurassic Park 4." "I was getting bored," Amanda said. "And Eric went looking around. Thank goodness I thought to come in when I did." Turning to Grant, she continued, "Why didn't you like me in Jurassic Park 3?" "You want the truth?" Grant asked. "The general public hated you. And were hoping that you would have died in the film." "I am a great actress," Amanda said. "Honey, I don't think you're a great actress," Paul said. "Heck you're not even that good in bed."  
  
Alan Grant walked towards the door, just shaking his head. "Wait! Dr. Grant!" Kirby said. "So will you be joining us on this adventure? This mission to find my lost wallet?"  
  
Grant just shook his head.  
  
Amanda quietly said, "Paul you'd better tell him." "Tell me what?" Grant demanded. "I haven't been completely honest with you," Paul Kirby said. "What? Which part?" "I didn't loose my wallet on Sorna," Kirby said. "I left it there on purpose. I wanted to guarantee that my family and I would be back in the next installment." Amanda looked at Grant. "Please Dr. Grant. We must return in Jurassic Park 4." "We really enjoyed working with you in the last film," Kirby said. "Even though we all were given very cheesy lines written by Peter Buchman. He made me look like a sissy!" "No," Grant said. "The answer is no."  
  
Eric entered into the trailer waving a book in his hand: it's the Jurassic Park 3 script by Peter Buchman. "Dr. Grant," Eric said, "you said you would like to come back in this script." He hands the script to Grant. "Yes, I did say that," Grant said as he took the script. "But, Miles," he paused for a second in a daze, quickly he began flipping through the first few pages of the script, and continued, "I mean Eric. That's beside the point. It was cut from the film." "So you wouldn't want to return to the island?" Eric asked. "No force on earth or heaven could get me on that island again," Grant said.  
  
Alan Grant walked passed Eric and exited the trailer; slamming the door shut behind him.  
  
Paul Kirby raced out the door.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Alan Grant rushed away from the trailer, trying to get away from the Kirby family. He quickly walked over to a group of volunteers, who were talking amongst themselves. One of them looked up and saw Grant approaching. "Dr. Grant," the volunteer said. "Mr. Smythe," Grant replied. "Why didn't you warn me the Kirby's were here?" "Didn't you get my message?" Ben Smythe asked. "What message?" "On your cell phone," Smythe answered. "I don't have a bloody cell phone!" Grant remarked. "Oh, well, I left a message on someone's cell phone." "What did you say in the message?" "Something about how Paul Kirby's here with another proposition he would like to discuss with you," Ben answered. "And something to do with getting you back in Jurassic Park 4."  
  
Paul Kirby spotted Grant over by a crowd of people. He ran towards them as he yelled, "Dr. Grant wait up!"  
  
Standing outside of the trailer, Amanda yelled in a megaphone, "Running away from us is very bad idea!" "Why won't they leave me alone!" Grant said. "I don't want to be in Jurassic Park 4!"  
  
"You will be joining us on this rescue mission," Kirby said as he approached. "You have no choice!" "Yes he does," Ben said.  
  
Amanda approached the men. "Like Paul said," Amanda said, "Grant has no choice. He will be joining us." And suddenly, without any warning, Amanda lifted her large purse and smacked it against the back of Grant's head.  
  
Grant collapsed to the ground hard.  
  
"I won't let you take him," Ben Smythe snapped.  
  
Paul looked at Amanda. She smacked her purse down on Ben. "What do we do with him?" Amanda asked. "Bring him along," Paul said. "We need another extra in the film anyways."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Paul Kirby picked up Alan Grant's upper body, and began dragging him to the Cadillac. "I need to make one last stop before we head off to Isla Sorna," Kirby said.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
William H. Macy [Paul Kirby] paused outside of the door at Universal Studios in Universal City, California. He took a deep breath, opened up the door and walked in casually. Ahead, there were two security guards talking amongst themselves. He took the chance and walked quickly past them towards a door with a little sign on it that read "The Jurassic Park hallway". He reached out to open the door —  
  
"Hey I know you!" came a voice from behind him.  
  
Macy stopped in his tracks. He frowned. He was caught. He would never be able to live out his dream of being in another Jurassic Park movie. Macy turned around slowly, ready for defeat. The voice belonged to a guy wearing a tyrannosaur outfit.  
  
The dinosaur spoke again, "You're that guy from Air Force One! That movie rocked!" William Macy looked closer at the dinosaur man. "And you are . . .?" Macy asked. "Your biggest fan," the dinosaur replied. "Can I have your autograph?" "I'm kind of in a hurry here— "Please?" "Oh all right," Macy said. He quickly signed a piece of paper and handed it to the dinosaur. "Well I better get going," he said as he turned to open the door. "Bye." "Thanks. Good-bye Mr. Macy," the dinosaur replied.  
  
He opened the door and went in. William Macy found himself in a long narrow hallway, with doors on both sides. Each door was labeled: The first door said "Jurassic Park Headquarters," the next "The Lost World Files," the third, "Jurassic Park III / the Janitor's Closet". The next was labeled, "Joe Johnston's Office / the Men's Restroom.", and finally "The Jurassic Park 4 script is in Here!"  
  
He was about to open the door to the Jurassic Park 4 script room when another door's title caught his eye. He went over to it to get a closer inspection, it said "JP3 Deleted Scenes: DO NOT ENTER!"  
  
"Oh geeze," Macy said. "Well, hell .... that certainly is an invitation if I ever heard one." He opened the door. Inside was a projector and a giant wall painted in white beyond that. He turned on the projector.  
  
A scene that he had never seen himself before was projected on the wall before him. It was a scene from somewhere near the end of the movie, where a spino was fighting with a t-rex. "Well, that happened earlier. What a waste of film," he spat, as he continued to watch.  
  
The fight went on for about four minutes, with the rex coming out on top, as the spino fell into the water with a large splash. "Wowsers," Macy whispered.  
  
But then what happened next troubled the out-of-work-looking-desperately- for-a-job actor. When the spino fell into the water, it landed on a human, who was stupidly standing too close to the action.  
  
The spinosaurus landed right on Paul Kirby.  
  
"I don't remember that!" He shouted at the wall. Because of poor stunt execution, he was able to see his character's face up close. "That's my stunt double! They did that without me! Those ... those .... meanies!" he shouted waving a fist at the wall.  
  
He turned the projector off, very angry about the whole thing.  
  
He turned to leave the room as he said, "Glad they decided to cut that scene."  
  
William Macy went into the Jurassic Park 4 script room. He found himself in a large room. On one of the walls were movie posters from some upcoming films: Indiana Jones 4, King Kong, and a Jurassic Park 4 poster. Macy walked towards them to get a closer look at the Jurassic Park 4 poster: the background was black, on the left side was a picture of Keira Knightley and on the opposite was Sam Neill. There was the Jurassic Park logo on the lower center. Also in concrete lettering were the words: Essence of Chaos. On the bottom of the poster the tagline read: Jurassic Park has had its Adventures . . . now begins the Nightmares.  
  
Below the posters were several file cabinets. He opened one up and began flipping through the files. "It has to be in here somewhere," William Macy said to himself. He kept searching through the files. After a few minutes of searching he said, "Ah hah!" as he pulled out a thick file folder which had a label that said "JP4 script".  
  
Macy opened up the folder to reveal the cover sheet of the script:  
  
The Essence of Chaos:  
Jurassic Park  
  
screenplay by  
  
William Monahan  
  
revisions by  
  
Micah Prentice  
  
based upon characters created by  
  
Michael Crichton  
  
William H. Macy flipped through its pages of the script, when something caught his attention. He read:  
  
13 CONTINUED: 3  
  
A faint rustling comes from the jungle foliage ahead. Grant stops, holding his breath; he scans the tree line for any sign of movement. He turns to face the others, and lifts a finger to his lip, indicating them to keep quiet, and then he motions them to follow him.  
  
Levine casually trails behind the others, when something catches the attention of his eye. Scattered throughout the little clearing were several ill-formed mounds of earth. He cautiously goes to the closest mound, inside are thousands of eggshell fragments. He bends down to pick one up to examine it. A panic look strikes his face.  
  
Levine  
Oh, no.  
  
A reptilian hiss comes from the bushes next to him, as the bushes begin to shake,  
  
Levine (cont'd)  
Oh God, no.  
  
INT 13B  
  
Hearing the movement in the foliage, Malcolm snaps a tranquilizer dart cartridge into the bay of the lindstradt rifle. He raises it to his shoulder, just as a velociraptor pounces out of the foliage at Levine. His finger tightens on the trigger.  
  
The dart strikes the raptor's neck. Instantly the animal collapses to the ground, unconscious.  
  
Levine  
Thanks.  
  
Malcolm  
If I had to pay a nickel for every  
time I save your rich ass, I'd be  
homeless. Wait for the unexpected,  
think before you proceed. Point is  
Levine, next time I might not be there.  
  
William Macy closed the script. And pulled out from underneath his jacket, his script "Kirby and his Lost Wallet" "This should be a better movie," he said as he switched the scripts. "And I am the main character this time."  
  
He put the folder away and closed the file cabinet. He turned and walked out of the room.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The Kirby's Cadillac pulled onto the airstrip of the LA airport. Inside the car, Eric Kirby stared out of the car window, as they approached a small charter jet. "This is going to be great," Eric said. Paul looked up into the rearview mirror. Seeing his son staring out the window, he smiled. "This will be great. I bet my bottom dollar on it," Kirby said.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Paul Kirby shoved Alan Grant down onto the seat, next to Ben Smythe. Both still unconscious.  
  
Kirby walked ahead a few rows where his family sat. Eric looked excited, but his wife, she looked tense, drawing long nervous breaths. She turned to look up at Paul as he sat beside her. "This is all coming together just like you said," Amanda said. "We are in Jurassic Park 4!" "Yes we are," Paul replied smiling.  
  
The interior of the plane started to shake, as the craft came to life. The plane began coasting down the runway, on its way to Isla Sorna.  
  
* * * * *  
  
In the cockpit, pilot Chucky Sims, and co-pilot Bill Pullman stared out at the open sea before them.  
  
Chucky said to Bill, "I have always wanted to be in a Jurassic Park film." "Yeah," Bill said, "me too."  
  
Paul Kirby told Chucky and Bill that they were going on some-type of rescue mission. "We are returning to Isla Sorna," Paul told them, "to go in search of my most prized possession. My lucky wallet."  
  
"Ever since Jurassic Park 3," Bill said, "it proved any average Joe could be in this type of movie. Heck look at Mrs. Kirby, uh I mean Tea Leoni. She can't act, even if her life depended on it." "That, and I have always wanted to be chased around by dinosaurs," Chucky said.  
  
Bill looked out the side window and saw a flock of birds flying over the ocean. "Hey I never knew that chickens could fly," he said. "Oh didn't you hear that's Jack Horner's latest theory?" Chucky asked. "Heck if the Spinosaurus could swim like crocodiles in Jurassic Park 3, why the hell not have flying chickens in the fourth installment?"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Paul and Amanda hovered over Alan Grant. "I think he's waking up," Amanda said.  
  
A groggy Grant looked up, taking a few moments to regain his bearings. He slowly stood up, as Paul and Amanda took a step back. Grant looked out a small window, noticing they are flying awfully low. "What the hell is going on?" Grant said. "Are you all right Dr. Grant?" Paul asked. "I am sorry we had to do that to you, but we had to make sure you would be joining us here."  
  
Grant looked around the plane, noticing a lot of other passengers, who appeared to be sleeping. "Who are those people?" Grant asked. "Like I said, we had to make sure we star in Jurassic Park 4," Paul Kirby said. "So you kidnapped the crew for the real Jurassic Park 4 film!" Grant snapped.  
  
Paul Kirby didn't know what to say, so he just turned and went back to his seat.  
  
Kirby turned to face a Japanese woman sitting in the seat behind him. "Wake up Ms. Taira," he said. "Come on wake up."  
  
Groggy the woman looked up at him. "Where am I?" "I don't need you asking questions," Kirby said. "We are almost to Isla Sorna, and you need to setup whatever you have to start filming as soon as possible."  
  
Tiffany Taira, still half a sleep didn't reply. "I said do you understand," Kirby snapped. "Yeah, yeah," Tiffany said. "Whatever."  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Back at Universal Studios, Steven Spielberg sat in his office working on some thumbnail sketches for sequences that may appear in the upcoming Jurassic Park 4. He was nearly finished with a sketch of Sam Neill's character and Keira Knightley's climbing on top of the roof of a high hide to escape from a pack of raptors that are jumping up at them.  
  
Abruptly his phone began to ring. Spielberg picked it up and before he could say anything, a voice said, "Sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Spielberg, but we have a situation here in the surveillance room." "What seems to be the problem?" Spielberg asked. "You better just come down here." "On my way," Spielberg said.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Steven Spielberg quickly walked into the surveillance room on the main floor of the lobby. As he entered in the room, the director of security, Toby Collins said, "I think you better take a look at this."  
  
Toby reached over for the video recorder and rewound the tape, and turned the monitor so Spielberg could get a clear shot. He picked up the remote and pushed play.  
  
On the monitor: they saw a man walk across the lobby, as two security guards talked.  
  
"Play that once more," Spielberg said as he squatted down in front of the monitor.  
  
Toby replayed the clip, but paused it on the man in the lobby. "That son of a bitch," Spielberg mumbled. "You know who that man is?" Toby Collins asked. "It's Bill Macy," Spielberg answered. "In that case you better take a look at this clip from the 'the Jurassic Park hallway' cameras."  
  
On the monitor they watched William H, Macy walking down the hallway, and about to enter the "Jurassic Park 4" room. Suddenly he stopped and turned to face another door and went into that room. When the door shut, Spielberg and Toby saw the sign that hung on the door. It read "JP3 Deleted Scenes."  
  
A few moments later, Macy exited the room and headed right for the 'Jurassic Park 4' room, and slipped in the door.  
  
Steven Spielberg pulled out his cell phone, and quickly dialed Kathleen Kennedy. "Kathleen," Spielberg said, "we have a situation here. Please tell me that Tiffany Taira is still in her office, and her crew still in Hollywood." There was a pause. "No. And the budget is missing as well?" He turned to Toby and said, "Get those two guards up here now!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant suddenly heard a new sound, a soft humming and a low rush; which seemed to be coming from the outside. "That wasn't the landing gear," Grant snapped. "Was it?"  
  
Over the loudspeaker, a voice said, "There's a landing strip up ahead. You want me to set her down?" "No, no, no." Grant yelled. "I won't let you land this plane!" "Don't worry Dr. Grant," Paul Kirby said. "I'm not making the same mistakes again!" "No. You're just making all new ones!"  
  
Sitting across the aisle from Grant, Eric said, "Hey you stole those lines from David Koepp's 'The Lost World!'" Paul Kirby looked at Eric, then back at Grant. "Oh darn it!" Paul said. "You're using the wrong script! What's yours say Amanda?" Tea Leoni (Amanda Kirby) pulled out her script and replied, "Mine says 'The Essence of Chaos: Jurassic Park'. What's yours say Sam?" Sam Neill (Alan Grant) pulled out his script. 'The Lost World: Jurassic Park'." William Macy (Paul Kirby) looked at the cover of his script and replied, "There seems to be a problem here. Mine says, 'Kirby and his Lost Wallet. What's yours say Trevor?" "My script says, 'Barney's Great Adventures'."  
  
Sam Neill searched for a trashcan. He spotted one a few yards ahead. He chucked his script into the trash as he said, "I hated that movie!" Trevor Morgan laughed. "Why's that?" Neill stared at Trevor, and everyone else is also looking at him, waiting for an answer. Finally he continued, "Well, uh. What I mean is . . . you know how much money I missed out on from not staring in that film? Damn that Crichton for not writing me into his second Jurassic novel. And I would have already been in three Jurassic Park films, so my contract would be over with and I wouldn't be stuck on this damn island again with you people!"  
  
"Dr. Grant, Dr. Grant," Kirby said shaking his head. "You're not using the dialogue I wrote for you." He took out his script, Kirby and his Lost Wallet, and showed Grant. "See?"  
  
Grant read:  
  
25 INT PLANE CABIN - hopefully it's still daytime  
  
Over the loudspeaker pilot Chucky Sims said.  
  
CHUCKY  
There's a landing strip ahead. You  
want me to set her down?  
  
GRANT  
No, no, no. I won't let you land  
This plane!  
  
ME  
Don't worry Dr. Grant I'm  
not making the same mistakes  
again!  
  
GRANT  
If you say so Mr. Kirby. I have  
all the faith in the world in you.  
I hope we find your wallet.  
  
ME  
Me too.  
  
GRANT  
I also want to thank you for letting  
me take part in all of this.  
  
"You see, you totally ruined the dialogue I wrote," Kirby said. "No, Kirby," Grant snapped. "I don't want to be in your stupid movie." "Hey my movie isn't stupid!" "Peter Buchman's script was even better than this crap."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Over the loud speakers in the main lobby of Universal Studios, Toby Collins said, "Bruce Banner, Peter Parker please come to the surveillance room right away."  
  
Bruce Banner looked up at the loud speaker, and than over at Peter Parker. "What did you do now, Pete?" "Nothing," Peter said.  
  
The two security guards made their way down the hallway to the surveillance room. When they reached the room, they slowly entered and to their surprise standing in the room with Toby Collins was Steven Spielberg; and he didn't look that happy to see them.  
  
As Bruce Banner took a step into the room he said, "Hello Mr. Spielberg, is there a problem?  
  
On the monitor, the scene where William Macy snuck past Bruce and Peter, began to once again play  
  
Peter Parker looked at the monitor and than at Bruce and than back at Spielberg. "You let William Macy slip into this building and into the 'Jurassic Park 4: Script room'. You sons of a bitches. Because of you two, Jurassic Park 4 wont' be made. Macy stole the script, kidnapped the director and her crew, and took the whole fucking budget for the film! Why I oughta—  
  
"Mr. Spielberg in your best interest do not make me angry," Bruce Banner said, "You won't like me when I'm angry." "Make you angry?!" Spielberg snapped. "I'm furious! I've been working hard for the last year to wipe the memory of Jurassic Park 3 from the minds of the public. And you ruined it!" "I warned you not to make me angry," Bruce spat, as his eyes began to glow a bright green. Bruce clenched his teeth, as he groaned in pain as his shirt began tear down the back. His shoes popped of his feet as they began to grow. Suddenly his muscles began bulging uncontrollably, as his arms tore through the shirtsleeves, as his skin started turning green. "Agghhhhh!" growled Banner. "Raughhh!" "Bruce," Spielberg snapped, "I told you if you worked here you have to control that temper of yours!" "Raugghhh!" Bruce growled in reply, as he stormed out of the surveillance room.  
  
Spielberg, Toby, and Peter Parker stared at the monitor, as they watched Bruce Banner walk down the hallway; as his muscular structure returned back to normal.  
  
"So what are we going to do?" Toby asked Spielberg. "Go rescue the cast and crew from Macy," Spielberg said.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Alan Grant, aggravated, raced towards the cockpit, to try to stop the pilot from landing the plane. He was ready to wrestle for the controls if he had to. Grant was almost there, when all of a sudden someone emerged from the cockpit and stood in his way. "I won't let you land this plane!" Grant snapped. "Now get the hell out of my way, whoever the hell you are!" "I'm Bill Pullman," the man replied. Grant paused for a moment, trying to remember where he heard that name before. "You were the President in that movie Independence Day, weren't you?" "Yeah," Bill said. "That was me. Now I have a chance to be in a Jurassic Park film, and I won't let you ruin that for me!"  
  
Bill Pullman shoved Alan Grant down into a seat, with one hand while the other formed a well-fitted fist, hitting Grant dead on.  
  
Paul Kirby smiled. "Good work son. Now let's get this plane landed."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Ten minutes later, the plane slammed down onto a beaten up landing strip; along the side of a think jungle.  
  
Alan Grant lay on the edge of a seat in the plane. Standing above him, was his assistant Ben Smythe. "Dr. Grant," he said, shaking Grant's shoulder trying to wake him. "You all right?"  
  
Grant slowly opened his eyes, as he held his head. "Oh my head," Grant mumbled. He looked up and saw Ben. "Please tell me we did not land." From the expression on Ben's face, Grant knew the answer. "Where's Kirby?" Grant asked. "Outside," Ben answered. "Said something 'bout wanting to start an action sequence."  
  
Grant and Ben walked out of the plane.  
  
Paul Kirby noticed that Grant and Ben were coming out of the plane. "Are you all right Dr. Grant?" Paul said. "I'm sorry we had to do that, but we had to." "Kirby," Grant snapped, trying to control his temper. "Read my lips. Are you ready? I do not want to be in Jurassic Park 4!" "Oh sure you do," Paul said smiling. "Everyone wants to be in this amazing film I wrote myself!" "Why didn't you get Jeff Goldblum in this one?" Grant said. "We wanted to be in another movie with you!" Kirby said.  
  
Amanda and Bill Pullman stood at the edge of the jungle talking. "Where's all the dinosaurs?" Bill asked Amanda. He shouted, "Are there any dinosaurs in there?" "Don't do that," Amanda snapped. "It's a bad idea!" "What's a bad idea?" Bill asked. "I just want to see a dinosaur. And maybe if I'm lucky, one could chase me. Or maybe even get ripped in half by one, or even disemboweled! That would be awesome!" "Stop talking so loud!" Amanda said. "You may attract one of those tricyclatops!" "A what?"  
  
Suddenly a loud roar echoed within the dark jungle. "Oh now you did it, Bill," Amanda said, as she turned to run back to the plane.  
  
"What was that?" Paul asked Alan Grant. "Is that the spinosaurus Dr. Grant?" Eric asked. "No. I don't think so," Grant answered. "Sounds smaller." "But how can you tell if it's smaller just by its roar?" Paul asked. "I'm on the damned island aren't I? Now stop questioning my authority! I've now been in three Jurassic Park films so I think I know what I'm talking about, okay?"  
  
Bill Pullman slowly started backing away from the thicket; he turned towards the plane and began running as fast as he could. He shouted as he ran, "We gotta go! We must go now! Everyone back on the plane!" "There's nothing to worry about Bill," Paul said. "Grant believes it's not a spinosaurus so we're safe." "But dad it could be a tyrannosaurus," Eric said. He looked at Grant for approval. "Right Dr. Grant?" "It's possible," Grant replied.  
  
Bill slowed down to a walk since Kirby said there was nothing to worry about. He took his time walking back to the plane.  
  
"But to be on the safe side," Kirby said, "why don't we all head back for the plane and circle around for awhile and find a new place to set up camp."  
  
Everyone quickly headed back to the plane, all except for Bill Pullman, who suddenly stopped and turned back to face the dark jungle. All of a sudden a green lizard with brown strips jumped out of the thicket, and began chirping. Bill laughed. Looking down at the little dinosaur, he said, "You gonna attack me? Try to eat me?" He laughs again. "Roooooarrr."  
  
He walked up to the dinosaur and kicked it back into the jungle.  
  
Paul Kirby, who was the first one back into the plane, quickly ran back into his seat in the front of the plane, as he sat down he pulled out the book "How to Survive in a Jurassic Park Sequel" from his underneath his seat. He quickly flipped through it as everyone else made their way back to their seats. Eric sat down next to him. "According to this book," Paul said, holding the book up so Eric can see the title, "sometime soon a tyrannosaur will attack this plane, causing us to crash."  
  
Pilot Chucky Sims jumped into his seat and quickly started the plane up. A few moments later the plane began rolling down the airstrip gaining speed before its take off.  
  
Suddenly a panicked looked struck Paul Kirby's face. He quickly looked around. "Where's Bill Pullman?" he asked.  
  
From outside the plane they could hear a man screaming. Kirby quickly turned to look out the window.  
  
Bill Pullman froze, not knowing what to do. Standing just a few yards away was a very big dinosaur. A tyrannosaurus rex. Without warning, the tyrannosaur rushed forward with brutal speed, and seized Bill Pullman up in its jaws, lifting him into the air and began shaking his body violently.  
  
Eric Kirby was also watching out the window, as the plane began to lift off the ground. "It was a tyrannosaurus!" Eric said. "I was right!"  
  
The tyrannosaurus stared up at the departing plane, and growled. The dinosaur rushed towards the plane with its jaws extended. Within a matter of seconds the rex was on the plane; it snapped its jaws forwards, taking hold of the left wing.  
  
Alan Grant saw the rex and shouted. "Hang onto something!" "This is going to be bad!" Ben remarked. "Still using lines from the Lost World?" Eric asked. Grant looked at Eric. "Shut up kid!" Grant snapped.  
  
The plane suddenly began to descend to the ground, crashing upon the treetops that lined the airstrip. All was now quiet. From the cockpit Chucky shouted out, "Is everybody okay?" But no one answered.  
  
The plane landed on its side, laying high in the treetops. Grant looked at Ben, then unclipped his seat belt, and slid out of his seat. Ben did the same. "What we going to do?" Ben asked Grant. "We try to escape from Kirby," Grant said. "Sooner, the better."  
  
Grant reached up to Paul Kirby's seat belt and unclipped it. Kirby fell to the ground. Grant pulled him up. "Thanks Dr-" Kirby said. "Look at what you have done," Grant snapped. "We're stuck on this island, together, thanks to you!" "But-" Kirby said.  
  
Grant walked away, trying to find a way out. One of the windows above him was broken. Maybe one could climb out that way. "Ben come here for a second," Grant asked. Ben walked over to Grant. "Give me a boost up here," Grant continued.  
  
Alan Grant stuck his head out of the window, and had a quick look around. Standing in the shadows of the dark jungle was the tyrannosaurus. Grant dropped back down. Chucky Sims was making his way out of the cockpit, as he said, "So what's the plan?"  
  
All of a sudden the plane began to shake, as the weight shifted; causing the craft to drop several feet. The front end of the plane began to drop as the back end began to rise. With a loud crack the cockpit fell off.  
  
All of a sudden, the tyrannosaur was now standing at the front end of the plane, looking straight at them. "Everybody freeze," Grant said in a low whisper. "The rex can't see us if we stay still." "What we going to do?" Amanda asked. In a whisper, Grant said, "We need some kind of distraction. Someone to lead the rex away while the rest of us make a run for the jungle." "Who's going to be the one?" Paul Kirby asked. "Isn't it obvious?" Grant asked. "Your wife will lead the tyrannosaur away from the plane, giving the rest of us time to make a run for it." "Oh no," Amanda snapped. "No, no, no. Oh no I won't!" "Oh yes you will," Grant said. "Amanda, Dr. Grant's right," Ben said. "No woman nor child has ever died in a Jurassic Park film." Looking at his wife, Paul said, "He does have a point there, hon." "I won't do it!"  
  
Grant motioned Ben over to him, and whispered something in his ear. Suddenly Grant and Ben rushed towards Amanda, and grabbed her by the arms and began dragging her down to the open front end of the plane. Not knowing what was going on, Paul Kirby said, "What you guys doing? Didn't you hear her? She said no!" "As soon as we get off this island," Amanda yelled, as she struggled; trying to get away from Grant and Ben. "What you doing to do?" Grant snapped. "Sue me? When Spielberg learns of what you have done, suing me will be the least of your worries." With that Grant and Ben shoved Amanda Kirby out of the plane.  
  
Grant looked down, it was a good twenty-foot drop. Amanda lay still. Paul Kirby looked down, worried. "Are you all right honey?" he shouted down. "Is mom okay?" Eric asked his dad. "I don't know."  
  
A few minutes later, Amanda stood up.  
  
Looking down, Paul Kirby said, "It is true." "What's true?" Eric asked. "No woman can die in a Jurassic Park film," Kirby replied.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Amanda Kirby dusted herself off, and looked up at Paul and Eric; who stared down at her. "I'm all right," she shouted up. A soft growl floated towards her from the shadows. She slowly turned around, trying to see the animal.  
  
All of a sudden, the tyrannosaur emerged from the shadows; as it let out a brutal roar. It ran towards her with its jaws extended. Then for some strange reason the dinosaur stopped abruptly when it was less than three yards away. The rex lowered its massive head down and began sniffing Amanda. The sniffing inhalation lifted up Amanda's shirt, revealing her lacy bra. Quickly, Amanda pulled her shirt back down as she snapped, "Pervert!"  
  
In the plane, Grant and Ben laughed as they watched Amanda shouting at the tyrannosaur.  
  
"Go on get!" Amanda yelled. "Get out of here!" The tyrannosaur growled, as it turned and headed back into the jungle.  
  
"The tyranno-whatever is heading back into the jungle," Amanda shouted up to the others.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant looked over to Chucky and asked, "You have anything on this plane that could help us climb down?" "I have some ropes in the back," Chucky Sims answered. "Want those?" "Yeah."  
  
Chucky went to the back of the plane, and opened a door for a small closet and pulled out two bundles of rope, and hurried back to the others. He handed them to Grant.  
  
Grant walked to the ledge, and tied one of the ropes to a seat that was still bolted down; and the other to a pipe that extended out from beneath the plane. After making sure they both were secure he slid down the first rope. One by one, the others took their turns sliding down the ropes.  
  
Without warning, with the sudden weight shift, the plane began to lean even more forward.  
  
Grant looked up, noticing the plane was slowly slipping. There was a loud crack, the tree branches were snapping under the weight of the plane. He looked down, the plane would fall right on top of them if they didn't move right that second. He yelled. "Look out!" as he jumped forward towards Ben; pushing him out of the way. Seconds later, the plane crashed down from the tree.  
  
A cloud of dust rose into the hot humid air. "Is anybody hurt?" Paul asked. "We're okay," Chucky said, as he lay on his stomach. He barely escaped, the plane had broken in half, and one part lay right next to Chucky Sims. And the other chunk lay a few yards away, where the Kirby family sat quietly.  
  
Amanda looked at Paul. "Was this also part of your plan?" she snapped. "How are we going to get off this island once we find your wallet?" "We'll find a way," Kirby tired to reinsure her. "Hey look at the bright side, we are still alive."  
  
Eric looked over at Grant. "Dr. Grant," he asked. "You think we're safe from the tyrannosaur?" "No," Grant said. Overhearing Eric's question to Grant, Paul said, "We're fine Eric. Remember how the tyrannosaurus was, well I mean is a scavenger in Jurassic Park 3? Jack Horner said it was, so it must be true." "Kirby what the hell are you talking about," Grant snapped. "You are not the paleontologist! I am! Anyways, tyrannosaurus rex was not a scavenger, it was a hunter—  
  
All of a sudden, someone rushed onto the set of the film. It was Jack Horner. "The tyrannosaur is too a scavenger! Let's see," he pauses for a moment as he looked through some papers, he continued, "Here it is. The tyrannosaur can't run— "Neither could its prey, so it doesn't matter," Grant interrupted. "The rex has olfactory lobes for smelling long distance, like jackals and other scavengers." "Smelling for prey you mean," Grant said sternly. "But, but, its arms are too small," Horner stumbled out. "They are useless!" "I wouldn't classify them as useless," Grant said. "Each arm alone could lift several hundred pounds, not useless like you say Horner. And also Phorusrhacids don't need arms for hunting either. Besides, if its arm were any bigger, it would be too top heavy and fall face first when trying to take a step, not evolutionarily sound if you ask me." "Bone-crushing teeth— "All meat eaters have flesh teeth and animals that have to eat bones in process, like the tyrannosaur and the modern day hyena have bone crushing teeth. And one more thing, hyenas hunt all the time, just like the tyrannosaurus would have," Grant said.  
  
Jack Horner frowned, trying to think of something to say. "Rex teeth are commonly found in association with bone beds where lots of animals have died in catastrophic events," he said finally. "The latest tooth mark studies conducted using a tyrannosaur tooth show that hadrosaurs are the most preferred prey of the tyrannosaurus rex," Grant said. "You want me to go on?" Jack Horner didn't say a thing; he just turned and ran off the sound stage back to his chair.  
  
The director Tiffany Taira walked up to Sam Neill [Alan Grant] as she said, "Can we please finish this scene?" "Sorry," Neill said. "Let's get this scene done with." He goes back over to the Kirby's as he said to himself, "Whoa. I had no clue that I knew all that stuff."  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Alan Grant turned to face the group. "The tyrannosaur was a hunter." "Where do we go from here?" Chucky asked.  
  
Paul Kirby was reading from the "How to Survive in a Jurassic Park Sequel", he looked up and said, "According to this book, we should head off into the jungle. We may encounter some small scavenger dinosaurs or some plant eaters.  
  
Everyone, except for Grant and Ben, start walking away from the plane wreckage and into the thick tropical forest. Eric looked back, noticing Grant wasn't following. "Are you coming Dr. Grant?" "It's not safe," Grant said. "What do you see, Alan?" Ben asked. "Notice anything wrong with this picture?" Grant answered. "It's too quiet. No jungle sounds or birds singing what so ever." "The rex is waiting for us," Ben said. "Exactly," Alan Grant whispered.  
  
Some of the bushes on the outer edge seemed to come to life, like something was brushing up against them.  
  
"Just stay calm," Grant told everyone. "Don't move, and we should be okay."  
  
Suddenly the tyrannosaur rushed out from beneath the underbrush; running towards them. Shaking, fighting himself to stay still, Chucky Sims mumbled, "I'm fairly alarmed here!"  
  
The tyrannosaur walked up to Chucky, and growled. It's trying to scare its prey, Grant thought. Trying to get it to move.  
  
Grant in a low whisper to Chucky, said, "Stay still. You're okay as long as you don't move." Chucky mouthed back. "Okay."  
  
The rex getting frustrated let out a loud roar. I can't do this, Chucky thought. All of a sudden Chucky Sims began to run away from the tyrannosaurus.  
  
Eric shouted, "You can do it, Chucky! Run!"  
  
Chucky Sims headed for a group of trees, less than four yards ahead. The jungle foliage was getting thicker by the second; no way the rex could follow him. Chucky climbed up a tree.  
  
The Kirby family was now running in the same direction that Chucky headed.  
  
"Are these people nuts?" Ben asked Grant. "You have no idea," Grant answered.  
  
The tyrannosaur chased the Kirby family, when Amanda just stopped running and turned to face the approaching dinosaur. "Boo," she said.  
  
The mighty tyrannosaurus rex stopped. "Leave us alone you over grown lizard!" Amanda shouted at the rex. The rex turned away from them and started walking back in the opposite direction. "We're safe now," Amanda yelled to Grant. "At least for now," Grant said.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan, Ben, Chucky, and the Kirby family cautiously walked through the jungle. Grant stopped, seeing something up ahead. He quickly walked over to see what it is. Laying in front of him, was a large unmoving sauropod carcass. He reached out and touched its skin, and then kicked it.  
  
"What you find?" Ben asked. "A dead sauropod," Grant answered.  
  
All of a sudden, the carcass began to move.  
  
"Oh my God," Grant said. "What?" Chucky Sims asked.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Stan Winston walked over to his puppeteers who are running the new dinosaur that was created for Jurassic Park 3. "It's time to fire up this old bad boy once again," Winston said as he approached. "Everything ready Richard?"  
  
Richard looked up from his controls and replied, "Yeah. Let's get this movable beast underway." Richard pushed a button on the control panel and abruptly the large animatronic spinosaurus came to life: the creature's head lifted into the air as its jaws opened as if it were roaring, yet no sound came from the animatronic spinosaurus.  
  
Stan Winston smiled.  
  
Yvonne Bartha, the film's Special Effects supervisor, walked over to Stan Winston. She looked over at the animatronic spinosaur and said, "Stan, I still say your spinosaurus looked too fake." She turned to face Stan and continued, "Why didn't you just use Barney the dinosaur and add a sail to its back and dye it a different color? It would have looked more realistic than this thing."  
  
Shocked, Winston stumbled for words. Finally he replied, "Well, what kind of name is Yvonne anyway? Hmmm?"  
  
Yvonne started to walk away, but stopped. "Oh by the way Stan," she said. "Your new hair cut makes your head look so lop-sided. For the love of pizza wear a cap!" She tossed a baseball cap at him that had a picture of Sam Neill's character Alan Grant on it and under the picture read 'Grant for JP4!". Yvonne turned and walked away.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"What is it Dr. Grant?" Kirby asked.  
  
The carcass before them moved again, as a spinosaurus lifted its head from behind the corpus. It had been feeding on the sauropod; its mouth mottled with blood and carrion. The spinosaurus roared.  
  
"What do we do dad?" Eric asked. "We run for our life," Kirby answered. "That's what the book says to do!"  
  
He was about to start running when Grant said, "No we don't." Puzzled, Paul looked at him. "Why not?" "Did you write this scene in your screenplay?" Grant asked. Proudly, Kirby answered, "Yes." "First off your portraying spinosaurus aegypticus wrong." "What?" Kirby asked. "The spinosaur is a predator. Jack Horner said so. And he also said this one dinosaur alone could cause an extinction on this entire island." "The spinosaurids were piscivorous," Grant said. "Do you know what that means?"  
  
Kirby didn't answer. "It means it only ate fish dad," Eric said. "That's correct Eric," Grant said. "Jack Horner doesn't know enough anatomy to even have sex with his wife." Ben and Chucky laughed.  
  
Chucky Sims stared up at the dinosaur; the spinosaurus stared back at him, tilting its head curiously. Chucky looked around on the ground and found a large stick. He quickly picked it up and started waving it in front of the dinosaur. "Here you go," Chucky said. "Here's a nice juicy stick for you!" He threw it, and continued, "Fetch dinosaur! Fetch!"  
  
The spinosaurus watched the stick as it landed a few yards away, then turned back to face Chucky. "I wouldn't classify dinosaurs as smart creatures," Chucky said. "My dog is smarter than this thing. No wonder why they were extinct!"  
  
The Kirby family walked up to Alan Grant. Paul said, "We need to get going. It's going to be dark soon, and we haven't even started looking for my wallet!" "Forget about your damn wallet Kirby," Grant snapped.  
  
No one was paying attention to Chucky and the spinosaurus. The spinosaur was now chasing Chucky around the jungle, every time Chucky ran past the others he shouted, "Help! Someone help me!"  
  
The dinosaur continued chasing him around. "Oh come on guys," Chucky shouted. "Help me!"  
  
Suddenly both the spinosaur and Chucky stopped. Up ahead was the tyrannosaurus. "Oh shit!" Chucky replied. "This just keeps getting better and better!"  
  
The spinosaurus rushed towards the tyrannosaurus, roaring. The rex roared in reply, as the two behemoths began circling each other, like gladiators searching for each other's weakness.  
  
Paul and Amanda scurried up a tree, while Eric hid behind a large fern. Alan Grant dove into some nearby bushes. But Chucky Sims just stood there, watching the two dinosaurs. "This is going to be great!" Chucky said.  
  
The spinosaurus lunged forward, its jaws open wide. The tyrannosaurus sidestepped the assault, its tail knocking down a small tree, barely missing Chucky. "Shit," Chucky shouted, as he jumped back.  
  
The spinosaurus growled. Chucky dove down into some fallen tree branches. The tyrannosaurus was pressing on the attack, slamming down its tail, barely missing Chucky once again. Chucky Sims started to crawl away from the fighting dinosaurs.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Jon Sattelberger, one of the film's executive producers, stood on the edge of the sound stage watching the two dinosaurs battle. "Come on rex," Jon blurted out, quite loudly. "You can take down that pansy spinosaur. Kick its ass!"  
  
From the set, Sam Neill once again stepped out of character, he turned to face Jon. "Excuse me Jon," Sam Neill said. "Would you mind keeping your comments to yourself? We are trying to film one of the intense action sequences for this film."  
  
The films director, Tiffany Taira, now joined Jon and Sam. "I'm sorry Sam. This won't happen again?" She turned to look at Jon, and continued, "Right Jon?" Jon just nodded.  
  
Jon and Tiffany walk back to their chairs. "He talked to me Tiffany," Jon said. "Sam Neill talked to me! He even knew my name!" "Jon," Tiffany said, she pointing to a nametag on his shirt. "You have a nametag on."  
  
* * * * *  
  
The tyrannosaurus rex opened its jaws as it rushed forward at its adversary, trying to get a grip around its neck. The rex succeeded, nearly causing the spinosaurus to fall to the ground. The spinosaur struggled to regain its balance. Without warning the spinosaurus lunged at the tyrannosaur ferociously, slashing at the tyrannosaur with its hang claws. The spinosaur bitched-slapped the tyrannosaurus.  
  
The characters watched as it looked like the spinosaurus was coming out on top. All of the sudden a man jumped out of behind a tree stump and yelled out, "That's my spinosaurus! Bring down that tyrannosaur again!"  
  
Chucky looked at Grant, and asked, "Is that who I think it is? Is that Joe Johnston?" "Sadly, yes it is," Grant replied. "What's he doing here?" "Don't worry about it," Chucky said. "I'll handle him." Chucky walked over to Johnston. "You're the guy who directed Jurassic Park 3, right?" Chucky Sims continued. "You're Joe Johnston. I have always wanted to meet you ever since I saw the TV spots and trailers for Jurassic Park 3."  
  
Joe Johnston smiled. "I have a fan," he said to himself.  
  
Chucky Sims made a fist and swung it as hard as he could right at Johnston, hitting him dead on. "I wanted to do that," Chucky snapped. "What did I do to deserve that?" Johnston asked. "Your portrayal of the mighty tyrannosaur was a disgrace to all Jurassic Park fans!" Eric shouted. "Eric," Amanda said. "Be nice to him, he let me survive in the last film so I could be back in this one. So show him some respect!" "Well, uh, actually I was told I couldn't kill any women," Johnston said. "Sorta like had to so it would go along with the trends, or well rules that were set up in the previous two films. But I heard they tore up the rulebook for this film. So the unexpected may occur." "You mean I may die?" Amanda said shocked. "It's possible."  
  
Chucky Sims interrupted, "But the tyrannosaurus you portrayed as a scavenger!" "That was Jack Horner's idea," Joe Johnston explained. "It was all Horner's fault? Where's the bastard?" Chucky snapped.  
  
Sheepishly, from off the set a hand rose. "I'm right here," Jack Horner said.  
  
Chucky Sims looked up at the tyrannosaurus and said, "Hey rexy! See that man sitting over there? You see him? He's the one who betrayed your honor as a mighty hunter," Chucky said. "He's the one who made you a scavenger!"  
  
The tyrannosaurus roared furiously as it rushed towards Jack Horner; its jaws opening and closing. Horner jumped out chair and started running away from the fast approaching dinosaur. Ahead, Horner spotted a narrow space between some large crates, he could squeeze between them and hide from the rex.  
  
Jack Horner tightly squeezed in between the crates. "I'm safe," he said to himself. He continued to watch the dinosaur coming towards him. "It can't reach me," he reinsured himself.  
  
The tyrannosaurus rex lowered its massive head down, peering into the crawl space where its prey hid. It growled. The dinosaur opened is mouth wide and its tongue snaked out. It was thick and blue-blacked, with a little forked indentation at the tip. Horner screamed and started to cry, as he tried to back farther away. But no such luck for Horner; the tyrannosaur's tongue curled, wrapping around his legs.  
  
The tyrannosaur began to retract its tongue, pulling Horner towards its powerful jaws. Jack Horner felt the spreading warmth in his trousers. Jack Horner peed in his pants.  
  
Jack Horner watched in horror, as he got closer to the tyrannosaur's mouth. He screamed but no sound came from his mouth. He knew it would all be over in a few minutes. What he thought would only be a little change for the tyrannosaurus rex in the Jurassic Park franchise, is now going to kill him.  
  
The tyrannosaurus rex pulled Jack Horner out from between the crawl space and lets go. Horner scrambled to his feet, and was about to run when suddenly the dinosaur snapped its powerful jaws down upon the helpless Jack Horner.  
  
The dinosaur rose the remains of Horner's body into the air, as it violently began shaking its head; breaking all the bones in his body. The tyrannosaurus titled his head back and swallowed Horner's body in one big gulp.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Joe Johnston and the others watched as the so-called renowned paleontologist Jack Horner got consumed by the mighty hunter, the tyrannosaurus rex.  
  
"It is very unwise to cross a tyrannosaur," Grant said. "And you still allowed the portrayal of the tyrannosaur as a scavenger," Chucky added. "So if I were you I would watch your back."  
  
With that Joe Johnston took off running, not back to his chair, but deep into the dark jungle.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Alan Grant, Ben Smythe, Chucky Sims, and the Kirby family ran in the opposite direction of Joe Johnston. After a while of running, Paul Kirby was caught off guard as Alan Grant slammed him hard against a tree. From the expression on Alan Grant's face, Paul Kirby knew there was only one thing on Grant's mind—  
  
"I still can't believe you thought you could create a Jurassic Park movie that centered around you searching for a wallet on this God forsaken island," Grant snapped. "Why didn't you just go to K-Mart and buy a new one?" Ben Smythe asked. Paul was too startled to speak. But finally said, "My wallet," Paul said, "is the most prized possession. And no K-Mart brand wallet could replace that." Still crushed up against the tree, Paul Kirby reached into his back pocket and pulled out a photograph. He handed it to Grant as he continued, "This is my wallet," Paul said. "It's over thirty years old now. It's just about the greatest wallet in the whole wide world."  
  
Ben looked at Grant. "Who carries a picture of their wallet?" "Someone crazy," Chucky said.  
  
Grant stared at the photograph of the wallet. It's one of those Sears style portraits. Grant just sighed in disbelief of what he was seeing. He handed the photo to Ben, after a few moments Ben handed it to Chucky.  
  
"But still you didn't need to include me in all this!" Grant snapped. "We had to," Paul said. "Now you've been to both islands, you know better than anyone how these dinosaurs behave. "Wait a minute," Chucky Sims said. "Are you telling me there are two islands with dinosaurs on them?" "Chucky," Grant said, trying to stay calm. "Did you ever see the original Jurassic Park?" "No, but—" "But you wanted to be in this installment?" Grant said. "I did see the TV spots and trailers," Chucky said. "That should count for something. Look at the TV spots for the third film, you get a glimpse at every single scene in the entire movie by watching them." "He does have a point there," Ben said. "For the first film," Chucky said, "I watched the trailers over a dozen times. Ya know? "The most phenomenal discovery of our time... becomes the greatest adventure of all time." Ever since I heard that line, I wanted to be in one of these films." "I see," Grant said. "Ben and I are heading for the coast, hopefully there are some left-behind props from the third film that will help us leave this island." "Grant we are not leaving this island without my wallet," Kirby snapped. "You can stick with us," Grant said, "or go search for your damn wallet for all I care. Either way, you probably won't get off this island alive Kirby." Grant and Ben started walking away, as Grant said to himself, "I swear I've said these damn lines once before."  
  
Paul, Amanda, and Eric walked over to Chucky Sims. "What do we do?" Paul asked Chucky. "Well, I think we should look for your wallet," Chucky said. "In the direction Grant's going." "Excellent," Paul said.  
  
The Kirby family and Chucky ran to catch up with Grant and Ben. "Wait up Dr. Grant," Eric shouted. "Where are we heading?" Chucky asked. "Ben and I are heading back to plane," Grant said, "to salvage some materials from the wreckage."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant, Ben Smythe, the Kirby family, and Chucky Sims forged their way through the planes wreckage; trying to find anything useful. Amanda found her suitcase; she quickly opened it up and pulled out a clean shirt. She walked to some nearby bushes and took off her blood stained shirt—  
  
Grant looked up, seeing something or someone in the bushes. Not sure who it is, he went to investigate. Grant goes behind the bush and found Amanda standing there topless.  
  
Amanda looked up. "Do you mind?" she snapped, as he pulled her shirt down quickly. She stormed back to the others, Grant followed.  
  
Chucky Sims saw a riffle lying in a puddle of yellow liquid. The barrel was bent in ninety degrees. He reached for it, just as Grant walked up behind him. "Find anything?" he asked Chucky. "No, just this bent rifle," Chuck said.  
  
Ben walked up to Grant and Chucky, holding two backpacks. "Found your bag," he said to Grant. "Thanks." With that he and Ben started walking back into the jungle, up a narrow pathway. The Kirby family ran to catch up.  
  
Chucky however, didn't notice the others leaving, and continued looking around. He came upon Amanda's suitcase; curious he opened it up. In it he found: a book titled "Changing while on a Dinosaur Infested Island made fun," an electric massager, a Playboy magazine with a picture of Tea Leoni naked on the cover— "Oh my god," Chucky said. "What was Hugh thinking when he let her pose for his magazine?"  
  
Looking back, Paul Kirby noticed Chucky wasn't behind them. "Come on Chucky, let's go!" Chucky looked up, and replied, "Yeah, I'm coming." He tossed the magazine on the ground and ran to catch up with the others.  
  
A bird cry floated down the pathway towards our characters. Grant stared off in the distance, trying to locate the source. And then he heard Kirby say, "Uh-oh. We have company."  
  
Up ahead, were a dozen or so bright green lizard-like animals, standing in a group near the trail. They were about the size of a chicken and they chirped animatedly. They stood upright on their hind legs, balancing with their tails straight out.  
  
"What is this?" Chuck asked. "A salamander convention?" "Looks like it," Ben said.  
  
The green lizards stared up at them. "Compys," Grant said. "Well actually they're compsognathus longipes." Ben Smythe stared in amazement, he was still a paleontologist in training, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Dr. Grant," Ben said, "I didn't know dinosaurs came this small." "Dinosaurs were mostly small," Grant explained to Ben. "Most people, when they think about dinosaurs, they imagine them as huge lizards wandering around eating as they go. But really, dinosaurs were on average the size of a pony."  
  
Amanda squatted down, looking at the little dinosaur. "They don't look dangerous. Do you think I could take one home, you know as a souvenir?"  
  
One of the compys walked over to Amanda. Its head nervously jerked from side to side, as he walked; its movements, very bird-like.  
  
Two other compsognathids joined the other, and began circling around Amanda. "Uh-oh," Amanda said. "Dr. Grant can I get some help here? Please?" Chucky picked up a rock and is about to throw it at the dinosaur, when Grant said, "Don't do that!"  
  
But it was too late, the rock slammed into the ground between two of the compsognathids. Chucky looked at Grant. "Sorry," he said.  
  
The characters run farther up the hill, upon reaching the top of the trail became progressively narrow, twisting as it ran down the hillside. They came around a curve and saw a fallen tree blocking the path. The tree had been denuded in the center, giving the impression that large animals had repeatedly stepped on it.  
  
The air was still and quiet, except for an occasional breeze blowing in the treetops. All of the sudden they heard some rustling come from behind them.  
  
"I hope it's not those compso-whatevers," Amanda said.  
  
Unexpectedly, a man on a bicycle rode out right behind them, and passed our characters.  
  
Chucky Sims said, "I don't think we're alone on this island." The man on the bicycle stopped, and turned to face Chucky. "Now that is really obvious." The man started riding again down the hillside.  
  
"Wait, wait!" Paul Kirby shouted. The man stopped again, and said to Paul, "It is very unwise to make so much noise on this island." "I tried to tell them that in the last film," Alan Grant said. "Who are you?" Ben Smythe asked. "Richard Levine," the man answered. He started to laugh. "What's so funny?" Eric asked. "I have always wanted to say that," the man said. "He's my favorite character in Michael Crichton's Lost World novel." "Then who are you really?" Chucky asked. Extending his hand out, he replied, "Ian Culshaw."  
  
Paul Kirby took the opportunity and said, "Whoever you are, have you seen my wallet? I lost it somewhere on this island in the last film." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out once again the photograph of his wallet. He handed the picture to the man, and continued, "This is my wallet." "Who carries a picture of their wallet? For that matter, who has a picture of their wallet?" the man said. "And no I haven't seen no wallet on this island. But have you asked the locals of the island?"  
  
Ian Culshaw got back on his bicycle and started once again down the pathway, disappearing in the dark jungle.  
  
The group stared down to the valley below, not that far off was a vast compound comprised of several buildings. One building alone was several acres. Looking down at the structure, Paul Kirby said, "I'd bet my bottom dollar we find my wallet in one of those buildings!" "Don't you remember where you left it?" Ben Smythe asked. "Uh, I forgot where I hid it," Paul said. "Oh that's just great," Grant said. "Reverse-Darwinism. It's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the most idiotic." With that Grant started walking down the steep pathway; Ben, Chucky and Eric ran to catch up.  
  
Paul and Amanda just stand there. "Grant's right, you are an idiot!" "No I'm not," Paul said. "Then why didn't you write down the location of your wallet in your script?" Amanda snapped back. "I just forgot okay, Amanda!" Paul shouted. "Why don't you just be quiet and help look for it!"  
  
Amanda first refused, but eventually she bent down scanning the jungle floor for Paul's lost wallet. Paul Kirby started walking down the hillside, still lagging behind the others. After a few more minutes Amanda raced ahead to catch up with Eric, Grant, Chucky and Ben.  
  
After a few minutes, Paul Kirby had caught up with the others. Eric looked at Grant. "You know how I told you in the last film how my parents don't work well together?" Eric said. "Do you believe me now?"  
  
Grant and the rest of the character's emerged out from dark jungle, into the compound's parking lot; it's littered with dozens of abandoned vehicles. Some of the vehicles were lying on their side, and some were overturned completely.  
  
Paul Kirby looked around: he saw four buildings surrounding the main building. "Which building should we go in first?" Paul asked. "How about that one," Eric said. Above the entrance read a sign "Hammond's Office." As they entered into the building, Ben Smythe said, "Wonder what we're going to find."  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Chucky Sims was looking at one of the vehicles. Its passenger side window was partially caved in, like something was trying to force its way through.  
  
Alan and Ben looked up at one of the three buildings next to the larger compound. "Should we go in?" Ben asked.  
  
Grant walked up the steps that lead to the main entrance. He and Ben stepped in, as the others ran to catch up. They found themselves in a large lobby: the walls had pictures of various types of dinosaurs, a large sectional couch sat in the corner; which had been ripped apart. Across the room was a receptionist's desk, which Amanda walked up to. She saw a phone, and picked it up. There was no dial tone; the phone was dead.  
  
The jungle had taken over the waiting room; roots and plants pocked up through the carpet and through cracks in the walls.  
  
Amanda said to Paul, "You think you lost your wallet in here?" "It's possible," Paul answered. "Have you ever thought about how maybe a dinosaur ate your wallet sometime between Jurassic Park 3 and now?" Ben said. "No, no, no," Paul snapped. "No dinosaur ate my wallet. I can bet my bottom dollar on that!"  
  
Alan Grant walked up to Kirby; he was getting tired of hearing the same line from him over and over again. "I bet my bottom dollar on it." Grant sighs. "Give me that script of yours, Bill Macy," Sam Neill snapped. Macy, dumbfounded handed Neill the script.  
  
Sam Neill started going through the rest of the script and crossed out any references to that 'bottom dollar' phrase. Neill sighed once again, as he stopped counting after 48 of them. "Here," Neill said, throwing the script back to Macy.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Ben Smythe began walking down a long narrow hallway; just like the waiting room, plants and vines were growing through the carpet. The first door he came to he and opened and peered in: it was a small office, with a desk and chair, a desk lamp, and a computer monitor covered in a film of mold.  
  
He shut the door and continued down the hallway. He opened the next door, and found an almost identical office. He skipped the next two rooms, and was about to pass the third when a sign on the door caught his attention. The sign said "Dinosaur Stomach: The Consumed Characters of Jurassic Park". Curious, Ben Smythe opened the door and walked in. What he saw astonished him. He shouted back to the others who were still in the lobby, "You guys might want to take a look at this!"  
  
Ben Smythe took a step forward into the room; it was about the size of a large conference room. But unlike the other rooms, this one was actually clean; except for the occasional blood stain on the carpet. Sitting along the walls, or standing, were all the characters that had died from the Jurassic Park films. There was Ray Arnold, Dieter Stark, gatekeeper Jophrey, M.B. Nash, Cooper, Udesky, Ajay Sidhu, Carter, Ben Hildebrand, Enrique Cardoso, and Lost World screenwriter David Koepp.  
  
Ray Arnold was trying to open his pack of cigarettes, but was having a hard time being that he had only one hand. Dieter looked over at him and laughed. "Need a hand?" Dieter asked sarcastically, as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes of his own, put one in his mouth and lit it. "You pansy," Ray Arnold snapped. "You better hold on to your butt, cause I'm about to kick your ass!" A few moments later he spat, "Least I didn't get ripped apart by a bunch of little baby lizards!"  
  
Ben Smythe walked towards Enrique Cardoso, as he was taking something out of his backpack he suddenly had. "What's that?" Enrique asked. "The Jurassic Park 3 script" Ben answered and then, "Enrique, could you fill in some details of what took place in the plot hole where your boat was attacked in the fog?" Enrique Cardoso stared at Ben for a moment and than said, "You want to know the truth senior?" he asked. He motioned for Ben to come closer, in a quiet whisper Enrique continued, "The thing that attacked my boat was none other than the film's director himself. Joe Johnston was dressed in a purple dinosaur outfit, like Barney the dinosaur. In each of his hands he had a razor blade which he used to quickly rip the fabric of the boat apart." "So that's what caused us to crash," Ben Hildebrand said.  
  
Ben Smythe laughed. "Honestly," Ben said, "showing the attack would have been better than that fog they put in."  
  
Alan Grant, Chucky Sims, and the Kirby family were now standing in the doorway.  
  
Standing in the middle of the room was: Robert Muldoon, Donald Gennaro, and Eddie Carr who were in the mist of an argument.  
  
"No Gennaro," Robert Muldoon snapped, "the raptor that attacked me used sophisticated hunting techniques to bring me down. I was brought down by the clever girl." "That's nothing!" Gennaro yelled back. "I had to use the facilities when I was attacked by the tyrannosaur! It picked me up and shook me all about, broke my bones up and that's what it's all about!" "Oh I got both of you beat," Eddie Carr said. "Try to imagine being torn in half by two powerful tyrannosaurs. I was ripped out from some expensive land rover thingy and those stupid monsters played tug of war with me. Wasn't gory, but still it hurt like hell! I'll never live it down ... trying to hide in the floorboard."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Ben walked over to join the others; who watched the men argue. Eric Kirby was looking around the room when he noticed there was one person missing who died in Jurassic Park. He was about to say something but Grant said, "Let's get going."  
  
Everyone walked out of the room, Ben shutting the door behind them.  
  
The characters walked down the hallway. Eric saw a door with another sign on it. "Dr. Grant?" Eric asked. "Should we go into that room?"  
  
Grant looked at the sign, which reads "inGen's Dirty Little Secrets." "This should be enlightening," Grant said as he opened up the door. In the room were some boxes filled with papers. Everyone walked into the room.  
  
Lining the walls of the room were boxes and more boxes. Alan Grant opened up the first box he came to and began flipping through the file folders. One caught his attention and he pulled it out; its title said "a Secret inGen document". He opened the file folder and a piece of paper fell out. He quickly reached down and picked it up: on the top of the paper was the blue and white inGen logo. In big bold lettering it read: Concerning the inGen Incident.  
  
Grant began to read the document. "Oh my God," Grant said. "It wasn't Nedry at all." "What do you mean?" Ben asked. "I did see Jurassic Park. And Nedry caused the accident, and the dinosaurs got free." "Nedry was actually just a cover for someone much more dangerous," Grant said. "Steve Jobs from Apple!" "Wow," Ben said stunned. "That's something you don't learn everyday. What would all the Jurassic Park fans say if they knew this?" "InGen knew if this information got out," Grant explained. "It would cost them their reputation. And maybe go as far as getting people to think that their dinosaurs were only animatronics, not real." "Now that I think about it," Paul said. "I haven't seen anything about Steve Jobs for quite a while." "Yeah, I bet he was eaten in 1993!" Amanda said.  
  
Grant and Eric look at Amanda, both wondering if she has been living under a rock for the last four years. "Mom," Eric said. "Apple brought Steven Jobs back in 1999 to help create the new iMacs." "Really?" Amanda asked. "Yes, mom," Eric said. "Really."  
  
Chapter 9  
  
A pair of green dinosaurs emerged from the jungle into the cluttered parking lot. They lazily walked over to some firm trees; and ate.  
  
Alan Grant and the others exited Hammond's Office. "Okay," Paul said to the others, "since my wallet wasn't in there it must be in that large compound over there," he said pointing to the enormous building. "I bet my bottom—  
  
Grant gave him a dirty look. "I mean I bet it's in there," Kirby said.  
  
Eric Kirby saw the two dinosaurs. "Dr. Grant?" he asked. "What kind of dinosaurs are those?" "It's either a prenocephale or pachycephalosaurus wyomingensis," Grant answered. "No full skeletons of these animals have ever been found, only a lot of domed cranial fragments." "Is it dangerous?" Paul asked. "I think it looks cute," Amanda said. "No," Grant replied. "As you can see they're herbivores. I have never seen these creatures in flesh before, so I can't tell you how they really behaved. You see that distinctive domed skull? That's nine inches of sold bone." "And another thing," Ben added, "look how its neck is attached to the bottom of its skull, instead of the back of its head; like in other reptiles. If it lowered its head, its skull would line with its backbone, making it perfect for absorbing impact."  
  
The characters continued towards the compound. The group walked up the front steps and into the building. They now stood in a waiting room; just like the lobby in the previous building, the jungle had also reclaimed it. Along one wall was a small sofa, its cushions gnawed and pulled apart.  
  
Down one hallway were two vending machines lined against the wall; both covered with vines and mold. Paul Kirby dug into his pockets and pulled out some change. He quickly counted it. "I have a buck fifty," he said. "What you guys have?"  
  
Grant walked up to the first machine. The front glass panel was broken; glass was scattered around the machine. He reached in and pulled out a few bags of chips, a Butterfinger candy bar, and a pack of M & M's. He tossed a bag of chips to Chucky and Ben.  
  
Eric went up to the vending machine and pulled out a bag of chips.  
  
"Any chance you lost you wallet here?" Amanda asked Paul. "When you were trying to find some change in the previous film?" "It's possible."  
  
They were about to run to catch up with the others when something caught the attention of his eye. Under a layer of dust was a black wallet. Smiling, Kirby quickly picked it up. "I found it!"  
  
Grant stopped and turned to face Kirby. "Found what?" "My wallet," Kirby said. He opened it up to make sure all his things were still intact. He pulled out the driver's license. Suddenly he frowned. "What's wrong?" Eric asked.  
  
Paul Kirby turned the license around so everyone could see. "I didn't find my wallet. That damn Brennan kid must have dropped his wallet here too." He put the wallet into his pocket.  
  
Alan Grant and Ben Smythe pushed open a set of doors, revealing a cavernous hatchery facility. The group walked down a ramp and onto the floor; as they absorb the incredible array of technology: there were a pair of enormous cryonic freezers, empty incubators, and a dozen or so tanks filled of formaldehyde with dinosaur fetuses and body parts.  
  
Chucky Sims looked around, trying to put together what he was seeing. "This is where they made the dinosaurs?" Chuck asked. "No," Grant said. "This is where—"  
  
All of a sudden an elderly man stepped out from behind one of the freezers. The man said, "This is where I played God." The man turned to face Grant and continued, "It's a delight to see you once again Dr. Grant." "Mr. - - Hammond?" Grant said. He walked up to the man. "Is it really you?" He reached out and touched the man, but just as fast as he showed up, the man disappeared.  
  
Meanwhile, across the lab Amanda stared deep into one of the large cylindrical tanks that contained a half-formed embryo floating in formaldehyde. It was a genetic experiment that had gone awry. Amanda paused, looking at the half-formed creature. She asked, "Dr. Grant do you know what this thing is?"  
  
Grant walked over to have a look. He looked at the embryo for a few moments and finally answered, "See how it has a longer than normal neck?" Grant said, pointing at the creatures neck, "it's a sauropod. Most likely an apatosaurus."  
  
Paul Kirby walked up to the next tank and asked, "And this one?" This creature was a little more developed than the previous fetus. Atop of the animals head were a pair of distinct bony plates that met in the center, forming a V-shape. Grant replied, "I didn't actually get to this animal while touring Jurassic Park, but according to tape recorded voice it turned out this medium sized dinosaur actually spits a poisonous venom at its adversary." Grant turned to face the group as he continued, "This would have been a great evolutionary advantage for the dilophosaur. Recent studies show that its jaws were too weak to take down its prey. With the poison this carnivore could eat at its own leisure." "I bet my—" Paul was interrupted by Grant staring at him. Paul continued, "I mean, I bet this thing was a scavenger." "Did Jack Horner tell you that too, Mr. Kirby?" Chucky asked. "Well, yeah," Paul said. "I think I'll be quiet now," he added shyly.  
  
Standing before of Eric Kirby was another cylindrical tanks, which was obviously larger than the other tanks. Also its contents were unlike anything in the others. "Dr. Grant," Eric said. "I think you better come take a look at this. I know why we didn't see Nedry in that room with the other dead Jurassic Park characters."  
  
Grant walked over and took a look at the tank. "Oh come on now," Grant replied. "I can see them trying to bring back dinosaurs but this—" "What is it?" Amanda asked. "Someone was trying to bring back Dennis Nedry," Grant answered. "But why would someone do such a stupid thing like that?"  
  
Chucky was now standing by them and saw a little sticker on the tank. "I know who," Chucky Sims said. "Look," he continued as he pointed at the sticker. Everyone gathered around and read the little sticker, which said, 'Some fan boyish kids asked us to bring back Nedry so he could make an appearance in Jurassic Park 4. So we tried to clone him. Well whoever is reading this note, can see the contents speak for themselves . . . but we tried. Signed Lewis Dodgson, BioSyn Corp.'  
  
"Only BioSyn would try something that stupid," Alan Grant said. Floating in the tank along with the half-developed form of Dennis T. Nedry were dozens of candy bar wrappers and coke cans. "If they would try something like this, I wonder what else they may have been up to," Grant added.  
  
Chucky Sims stared into the last of the tanks in the line up. Inside was a completely formed animal. It seemed like its gigantic lizard-like head was floating in the incubator tank. Chucky stared at the lizard head. "Hey guys check this out," Chucky said.  
  
Amanda stared at the head, peering into its yellow eyes. Its eyes blinked. The head moved, the animal was alive! It was a compsognathus. All of a sudden the little compy lunged at Amanda from behind the tank. "Guess that little salamander missed you Mrs. Kirby," Chucky said. "Shut up Chucky," Amanda snapped.  
  
The compsognathid stared at Amanda; as it began jumping up at her, cornering her back against another tank. Abruptly three more compys came out from behind the incubator tank, and began to circle around Amanda. "Help," Amanda said. "Will one of you help me?"  
  
Chucky Sims shook his head; implying no. Grant did the same. "Paul," Amanda continued, "Help me! Please?" "Don't do it Mr. Kirby," Chucky said.  
  
Paul Kirby didn't say anything, just staring at Amanda and the little lizards jumping up around her.  
  
From the shadows, someone shouted, "I'll save you Tea Leoni!" "David Duchovny?" Tea Leoni said. "Honey, what are you doing here?"  
  
The man stepped out from the shadows, as he said, "It's me Tea, Joe Johnston!" Amanda smiled. "Oh Joe!" she said. "Hi. Don't just stand there, save me from these tinysauruses!"  
  
Johnston ran towards Tea Leoni, waving his hands in the air; acting like a wild man. "Get away from her! Go on!" Johnston shouted. He searched the ground for something to throw at the little dinosaurs, but he found nothing. He stopped running, and took off both of his shoes.  
  
Grant, Paul, Ben, Chucky and Eric watched Johnston as he threw with all his might, both shoes at the dinosaurs. One of the shoes landed between two of the compys, but the other smacked Tea Leoni in the face.  
  
Dazed from the impact, Tea Leoni said, "I thought you loved me Joe." With that she collapsed to the ground with a thud.  
  
Johnston just stood there. Ben looked at him, "Nice throw," he said. "Oh be quiet," Johnston replied.  
  
The compsognathids lost their interest with Amanda Kirby, and turned towards Joe Johnston. "Oh shit," Johnston said. He slowly backed away from the approaching dinosaurs; he tripped backwards, falling on his back. He now lay in what appeared to be part of the jungle sound stage used in the previous film.  
  
The fake shrubs around him came alive as dozens of other compsognathids emerged from the thicket. Johnston staggered to his feet; trying to flee from these monsters. One of the compys leaped up at him, inserting its claws into the back of his shirt, it started climbing up to his face. Johnston tried to shake the little dinosaur off, but the little compy hung on. It was now sitting on his shoulder, like a parrot. Abruptly, the little dinosaur began licking him. "Oh my God," Grant said. "What is it?" Ben asked. "The compsognathus," Grant said, "it's tasting him."  
  
All of a sudden, the compy on Johnston shoulder started chirping very loudly; drawing the attention of the other compsognathids. The other compys all ran towards Johnston; jumping up on him, causing Johnston to collapse to the ground.  
  
Joe Johnston screamed, as the little dinosaur began ripping flesh from his face.  
  
Paul Kirby pulled Eric close to him. "Don't watch son," Paul said as he covered Eric's eyes with his hands. Eric heard Johnston scream once more, than all was silent.  
  
Grant, Ben, Paul and Chucky watched as the compsognathids tore the infamous director apart. After a few moments, Grant spoke, "Let's go," he said. Eric walked over to Amanda, who was slowly waking up. "Mom?" Eric asked. "You all right?" Amanda looked up at Eric, "Yeah," she said, "I'm fine. Where's Joe? I need to give him a piece of my mind!" Overhearing her question Chucky replied, "He's dead. Your salamander friends got him."  
  
Eric helped Amanda up, and they joined the others. "So where we going now?" Chucky asked Paul.  
  
Paul Kirby quickly pulled out his trusty How To Survive in a Jurassic Park Sequel book and started flipping through its pages. "Let's find a way out of this place," Paul said. "Good idea," Chucky said.  
  
Grant, Ben, Chucky, and the Kirby family started walking up a flight of stairs back to the main level of the compound. Eric pushed open the double doors and walked through, revealing a dark hallway. Ben reached into his backpack, and pulled out a flashlight. Turning it on, he pointed the light down the long aisle.  
  
Seeing it was safe to continue, Grant stepped forward, leading the group with Ben by his side.  
  
Paul Kirby stopped for a moment as he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a lighter. He lit it, and held it up near his book; and he continued reading from the flames glow. After a few more minutes, Paul said, "Be careful now," he said. "What's going to happen Dad?" Eric asked. "According to this book," Paul said, "we should be seeing some raptors soon." "What's a raptor?" Chucky Sims asked. Grant sighed, remembering how he tried to explain it to Amanda in the last film. Finally, Grant said, "You will see soon enough."  
  
Ben Smythe stared down the hallway, shining his flashlight down the aisle, he saw something quickly run by, knocking down a bookcase. The crashing sound echoed through the hallway. Chucky looked up. "What was that?" he asked. "Was it a raptor?"  
  
The characters all paused to listen, Grant cupped his ear with his hand, he thought he heard something. Tick, tick, tick, tick.  
  
Eric Kirby was getting edgy. "I'm going to go see what that was," Eric said as he took off running down the hallway. "Me too," Chucky added as he raced behind Eric. "Eric wait!" Amanda yelled.  
  
Suddenly the creature stepped out of the shadows and into the glow of Ben's flashlight. "Oh my God," Ben Smythe said. Standing in the light was an elderly man.  
  
"Oh my God," Ben repeated. "Dr Grant, you got to see this." Shielding the light with his hand the man said, "Put the light down boy. You're going to blind someone." "Sorry," Ben said, as he lowered the flashlight.  
  
Grant walked up to the man. "Who are you?" Grant asked. "George," the man answered. "George McFly." "What in the heck are you doing in my movie?" snapped Paul Kirby. "I didn't write you into my movie!" "Movie?" George said not understanding what the man was talking about. "I don't know anything about a movie. But what I do know is I have been living on this island for the last ten years. But the varmints of this island have taken over my one room shack I built. They turned it into a damned dinosaur resort with tennis courts and swimming pools!" "Wasn't the resort on the other island?" Ben asked. "Yes," George explained. "Isla Nublar was the resort where the dinosaurs were the main attractions. But at this resort, humans are the attraction." "You're telling me that these dinosaurs have evolved way beyond what anyone ever imagined?" Ben asked. "Well excuse me George McFly," Paul Kirby snapped. "We are trying to film a movie here so go on, get going!"  
  
George McFly turned around and started slowly walking back into the dark hallway. All of a sudden a velociraptor jumped out at George McFly, knocking him to the ground.  
  
Watching from a few yards away was Chucky Sims and Eric Kirby. "Dr. Grant is that a raptor?" Chucky asked. "Yes Chucky, that's a raptor," Grant said, sighing and pointing to a sign around its neck. "What does that say?" Chucky squinted and read it out loud, "Velociraptor." "See?" Grant said, "Raptor." "Is it alone?" Chucky asked. Grant sighed again, "Read the fine print," he said pointing toward the sign again. Chucky read it out loud again, "Raptor 3 of 7." "Thing is, if there's one raptor," Grant explained. "More are always nearby."  
  
George McFly continued down the dark hallway when suddenly a lizard head emerged from the shadows, in front of him. George dodged, trying to get around the striped raptor, but another velociraptor leapt into the air; its legs raised in a pounce. George got a quick glimpse at its curved, dagger like claws as he turned around and ran back down the aisle. The raptor shrieked as it landed on the ground behind him.  
  
George McFly ran with all his might, yet he could still hear the raptor snarling. He ran hard back to the group he left. Just another ten yards to go and he would reach some offices, he could slip into one of them and hide from these animals. He know the odds that he would survive were slim, but he had to try he kept telling himself.  
  
All of a sudden something heavy struck him from the behind, forcing him to the ground. George felt the searing pain down his back and he knew it was the claws; they dug into the flesh of his back as he was knocked down.  
  
Another raptor came up to the now crippled man; with its hand claws it tore a chuck of flesh from George McFly's face.  
  
Ben Smythe looked at Grant. "Let's get out of here," Ben said. Everyone turned in the opposite direction, and took off running away from the velociraptors.  
  
Chapter 10  
  
The group exited the rear of the lab building; they found themselves in another large equipment yard. Like the one in front of the massive complex, the back was also reclaimed by the jungle, and littered with abandoned vehicles; most of them lying on their side or turned over completely.  
  
Alan Grant looked around, looking for a place for himself, Chucky Sims and Ben Smythe to hide from the Kirby's. He looked at Ben and said as he started to run, "Chucky, Ben head for the trees. Run!" "What?" Paul Kirby asked. "What about us? What's wrong Dr Grant?" He stood there for a few moments pouting like a child. "I'm talking to you Grant, now answer me!" "Stay away from me Kirby," Grant snapped. "You found your damn wallet, now leave me alone!" "But, but, but" Paul stuttered. "I didn't find my wallet." "No buts Kirby," Grant interrupted. "Chucky, Ben, and myself are getting off this island." "I'm not leaving Dr Grant?" Eric asked. "Cool. Hey Mom and Dad, we can live in that bunker from the previous films. This is great! We can be like the Swiss Family Robinson! This is so awesome!"  
  
Grant, Chucky, and Ben began running across the large open field. Paul, Amanda, and Eric raced to catch up with Grant and the others.  
  
Throughout the meadow were herds of parasaurolophus and corythosaurs, a pair of stegosaurs; all feeding on the local plant life. Near the center of the meadow, a small heard of triceratops drank from a small watering hole. Suddenly the triceratops herd shifted, and began backing towards each other until they formed a sort of rosette, with their curved horns facing outward. The babies and juvenile trikes were yelping in fear.  
  
One of the triceratops let out a loud bark. Grant abruptly stopped running, and looked at the herd of triceratops, which are about a quarter of a mile ahead of him. "Something's wrong," he said. "What's making the trikes so nervous?" Ben also stopped to watch the herd of the triceratops as they began swinging their massive horns up and down at an unseen menace.  
  
A soft hooting cry of an owl floated towards them. "Grant," Chucky said. "What was that?" Grant didn't answer, but motioned for everyone to keep quiet. They heard the soft cry once again. That time it didn't really sound like an owl, and seemed to be close by.  
  
The triceratops' were getting more nervous, as they all began to bark louder.  
  
From beneath the trees, a single dilophosaur hopped out into view. The dinosaur let out a soft hooting cry, making its presence known.  
  
Amanda looked at Eric and asked, "What type of dinosaur is that Eric?" "It's a dilophosaurus Mom," he answered. The dilophosaurus stood at least ten-feet-tall, its body was yellow with black tiger-like stripes on its back. On top of its head were a pair of flaming red V-shaped crests.  
  
Grant, Ben, and Chucky started backing away from the dilophosaurus, when they were a good fifty feet away they all turned and made a run for the trees.  
  
Paul said, "Honey, don't you think we should get out of here?" "Everything is fine," Amanda said. "This dinosaur can't hurt me remember?" "But remember Johnston said—" "Paul, you and Eric go hide with Grant," Amanda said. "Before I leave this island I want to pet at least one dinosaur." She began walking towards the dilophosaurus, confident that this dinosaur couldn't hurt her.  
  
The dinosaur looked at her, and hooted. Without warning the animal snapped its head in a single swift motion. Amanda Kirby felt something smack wetly against her chest. She looked down and saw a dripping glob of foam on her tee shirt. Curious, she touched it. "Oh my God," Amanda shrieked. "Paul this thing spit on me!" "That must be a spitosaurus," Paul mumbled to himself. "Paul, aren't you going to save me!?" Amanda shouted.  
  
He took a step towards Amanda when he saw the dinosaur snap its head again, he immediately jumped back as he said, "You're on your own on this one, hon."  
  
The dinosaur had spit into Amanda's eyes. The pain caused her to drop to her knees. She started crying. She fell face down into a puddle of water. She looked up, and with her hands tried to wash the spit off her face. She opened her eyes, but she couldn't see. She was blind.  
  
Amanda tried to stand up, but fell hard to the ground. She began to crawl away; pulling herself along the ground. Suddenly her hand brushed against something scaly, she knew it was the dinosaur's foot. Suddenly she felt a new pain on both sides of her head. She felt her body being lifted into the air, at that time she knew her head was inside the dinosaur's jaws.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Eric looked up at his dad. "Do you think this would be a bad time to ask the dilophosaur if he could pee in this jar," Eric asked. "It's for my collection of dinosaur pee." "Eric, shut up," Paul said. Turning to Grant, he continued, "What we going to do now?" "I don't know about you," Grant said, "but I'm tired. So I'm going to look for a place to rest for the night."  
  
Grant, Chucky, and Ben started walking towards a group of trees. A few moments later, Paul and Eric Kirby raced to catch up with them.  
  
Upon reaching one, Grant said, "This should be good enough." And he started to climb up the tree. Ben and Chucky followed. And Paul and Eric also began to climb up the tree.  
  
Now near the top of the tree Grant sat on a branch, and stared out at the valley they just came from. It was an incredible view. Everyone now was sitting on a tree branch, and watched as a pair of ankylosaurs wobbled out into the clearing.  
  
Paul looked in another direction and saw dozens of sauropod heads at the end of long necks, towering over the valley. "Hey! Dr. Grant," Paul shouted, "are those brontosauruses?" Grant turned to look, "Yes," he said, "they are." He stood up and climbed up to a web of branches and settled himself in it, leaning back against the truck of the tree, with little room on either side of him.  
  
Chucky climbed off to the side, to a nook in the branches of his own. Paul and Eric did the same, nestling next to each other, trying to keep warm.  
  
They heard some cries coming from the sauropod herd. Grant smiles. "Listen to that!" he said. "They're singing." He tried to imitate one of the calls. Immediately, seven heads turned in their direction and called back.  
  
"No, no, no, st, st, st-stop," Paul cried out. "Stop! Don't let the monsters come over here!" "Those aren't monsters Kirby," Grant said. "You are."  
  
Grant shifted trying to get more comfortable, settling in for the night. He was about to fall asleep when Eric asked, "What if the dinosaurs come back while we're asleep?" "Then I'll feed you to them," Grant mumbled to himself. Paul looked up at him, "Did you say something?" "Umm," Grant said. "No just thinking to myself." Everything seems so familiar, like I heard these lines before, Grant thought to himself. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his pocket size copy of the official Jurassic Park script he bought off eBay and started reading it.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant was asleep in the tree branch. In the branch beneath him, Paul and Eric were curled up together holding each other close. Chucky Sims was on a branch above Grant in a deep sleep, snoring loudly. Ben was near the top of the tree, sleeping soundly.  
  
Grant was slowly starting to wake up when suddenly a brontosaur's head pushed into the tree branches, right up beside them. It hesitated there for a second, seemingly staring at them. Grant just watched as the brontosaur opened its mouth very wide and chomped down on a branch of a tree, right next to the Kirby's.  
  
All of a sudden Paul Kirby's eyes opened, in front of him was the dinosaur. He started screaming. "Go away!" Paul yelled. "Oh come on," Grant said. "I know I heard these lines before."  
  
Chucky looked down smiling. "Is this a boy or girl dinosaur?" Chucky asked. "Come here boy or girl, or whatever you are." Chucky climbed down, trying to get a closer look at the dinosaur. He slowly reached out towards the brontosaur's head, to pet it. The dinosaur honked.  
  
Paul maneuvered in closer and reached out and touched the brontosaur on its nose. "You're a beautiful creature," Grant said. "Truly beautiful." "His nose is running," Chucky said. "Looks like it has a cold."  
  
The dinosaur kept chewing on some branches. Paul reached out once again to pet the dinosaur and suddenly the brontosaur sneezed. A vast explosion sends Paul flying back, dripping wet from head to toe.  
  
Chucky looked down at Paul, and than back that at the dinosaur. "God bless you!" Grant and Ben laughed.  
  
Paul Kirby's mouth just hangs open in shock.  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Paul Kirby, his shirt soaked, and his face all wet from the dino boogies, tried to catch up with Grant and the others. He stopped for a moment to wipe his face, when he heard something. "Hey!" Kirby shrieked. "Do you hear that?"  
  
Grant, Ben, Chucky and Eric stopped and listened. "Is it the ocean?" Kirby continued. Not waiting for an answer, he ran towards the source of the sound. "Dad, be careful," Eric shouted.  
  
Kirby slowed down to a steady walk, as he cautiously continued towards the sound of rushing water; the gurgling water getting louder by the second. He stepped out of the foliage, finding himself standing on the muddy bank of the river.  
  
He was about to step back in the jungle when something on the opposite side of the riverbank, a large tan dinosaur with bright green stripes down its back, emerged from the jungle.  
  
Alan Grant now standing next to Kirby saw the creature. "Is it dangerous?" Kirby asked.  
  
The dinosaur, oblivious to the humans on the other side of the river, dove its head into the rushing river, and came up with a large fish.  
  
"I don't believe so," Grant answered. Turning to Ben, he continued, "How would you classify it?" "Obviously a piscivorous," Ben stated. "Suchimimus tenerensis." "Take a closer look," Grant said. "This creature doesn't support a sail." "Baryonyx walkeri," Ben said.  
  
Eric started wading across the river. "Where do you're think your going?" Paul Kirby asked. "I want to get a closer look," Eric said. "Dr. Grant said it wasn't dangerous?" "Yeah, why don't you go with him too, Kirby," Grant added. "Go say hello to the dinosaur."  
  
Paul Kirby took a look at the animal. Staring at it, he said, "I'm not the paleontologist, but that thing sure looks mean to me." "Come on Dad," Eric said, waving his dad to come.  
  
Grant motioned Ben and Chucky to come closer. "When the Kirby's are closer to the baryonyx," Grant said in a whisper, "...run. Run as fast as you can down the riverbank." "The bary-whatever wont start to chase us, will it?" Chucky asked. "No. We should be all right," Grant said. "Wait for my mark. And then run."  
  
Paul and Eric Kirby were now almost across the river. Eric turned to wave back at the others. Forcing himself to smile, Grant waved back. "Now," Grant shouted.  
  
Grant, Ben, and Chucky ran down the riverbank, away from the Kirby's. Paul Kirby looked back, seeing the others running away from them. "Dr. Grant?" Kirby said concerned. "Is something wrong - -" He suddenly realized that they were running away from them. He shouted, "Hey now! Wait for us!"  
  
Paul and Eric raced down the opposite side of the riverbank, trying to keep up with Grant and the others.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant, Ben Smythe, and Chucky Sims darted back into the dark jungle; as the Kirby's half swam, half ran back across the river. Still shouting at them to wait up. "Do you think we lost them?" Chuck asked. "I hope so," Ben said. "Now I understand why you wanted to avoid them after the last film. Jesus, they are annoying." Grant held a finger to his lips, signaling them to keep quiet. A few yards away, the Kirby's continued to search for them.  
  
Paul and Eric, not knowing walked within four yards of Grant and the others. Not seeing them, they turned and headed away from them; deeper into the jungle.  
  
Chapter 12  
  
The thick, dark jungle suddenly came to an end, as Paul and Eric Kirby found themselves standing on the edge of a movie set. "What's going on here?" Eric asked.  
  
The set was made up of a small little village: with street venders, Arab women belly dancing in the streets. Kirby quickly covered Eric's eyes. "Dad," Eric snapped, "come on. It's not like I haven't seen this stuff before. I do watch MTV." Paul removed his hand. "That's better," Eric said, smiling as he watched the belly dancers.  
  
In the distance, dust rose into the air, as a jeep sped towards the village. Upon reaching the village, the jeep turned a corner, heading right towards them. A man wearing a hat much like Dr. Grant's stepped out of the jeep. Eric's jaw drops. "Dad, that's Harrison Ford," Eric shrieked.  
  
From off the set, a man shouted, "Cut." "Someone get those two off my set," the man said as he approached, not realizing who they were. "Where's security?" "They're on the way, Mr. Spielberg," someone answered.  
  
"We better get going, Eric," Paul said, trying to push Eric into the dark jungle. "Why Dad?" Eric asked. "We don't have time for questions," Kirby snapped, getting nervous as Spielberg walked towards them. "Let's go—"  
  
Steven Spielberg was less than two yards from the Kirby's, and he quickly recognized them. "Hold it right there, Bill Macy," Spielberg snapped. "Mr. Spielberg, what a surprise to run into you here—" "I should say the same to you," Spielberg remarked. "You outta wish you never found your way onto the set of Indiana Jones 4. You don't know what I want to do to you, Macy." "There's going to be another Indy film?!" Trevor Morgan said. "Awesome!" "We'd planned on filming Jurassic Park 4 during the same time," Spielberg explained. "But thanks to you, it will never happen." "What's he talking about?" Trevor asked. "First you broke into Universal to steal the real Jurassic Park 4 script, then you stole the budget for the film, and lastly and most important you kidnapped our cast and crew of the film!" Spielberg yelled. "I had to be in the sequel," Macy tried to explain. "Where is Sam Neill?" Spielberg demanded. "I honestly don't know." "Why the hell not!" "You see," William Macy said. "Sam Neill took off with two of the other cast members. Trevor and I were in the mist of searching for them when we ended up on this set."  
  
Trevor Morgan walked over to Harrison Ford, who was sitting in the jeep, waiting to continue. "Mr. Ford," Trevor said. Harrison looked down at him. "Yes?" he said. "Can I have an autograph?" Trevor asked. "Indiana Jones is my all-time favorite movie!"  
  
Harrison quickly signed a piece of paper and handed it to him. "Hey you should be in Bill Macy's movie. It's awesome," Trevor said. "Macy even wrote the whole script himself! I'm sure he could write a scene or two in for you. Have you ever been chased by a dinosaur?" Not giving him time to answer. Trevor continued, "Well I have. What a rush. Way more action than my first film, Barney's Great Adventures. This time the dinosaurs are real." "Kid, dinosaurs are extinct," Harrison said. "They are using animatronics, and computer generated imagery, to create the lifelike dinosaurs, just like in the previous Jurassic Park films." "No, the dinosaurs are for real," Trevor said. "Whatever kid."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So what you're telling me," Spielberg said. "You can't tell me whether or not Sam Neill is alive?" "That's correct," Macy answered. "If one hair on Sam Neill's head was harmed while on this island," Spielberg said, "I won't be responsible for what happens to you."  
  
All of a sudden, there was some rumbling in the jungle; something large was coming their way. A few moments later, a gigantic bolder rolled between Macy and Spielberg.  
  
"I read your script you left at Universal," Spielberg said. "You're gonna get killed chasing around this island in search of your damn wallet. It's the most ridiculous plot I have ever encountered in my life."  
  
Eric dragged Harrison out of the jeep and over to Macy and Spielberg. After a few moments, Bill Macy said, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend Trevor?" "This is Indian Jones, I mean Mr. Ford," Trevor said. "I was just telling him how maybe you could write a scene or two into your script so he could experience being chased around by a dinosaur." "That's not necessary," Harrison Ford said. "It would be no trouble," Bill Macy said. "No, really." "Aren't archaeologists funny looking men that go around looking for mommies?" Macy said. "Mummys," Harrison corrected. He looked at Spielberg for help to escape away from Trevor and Bill Macy. "We have to get back to filming," Spielberg said. "Okay," Macy said, disappointed. "Are you sure you don't want to be in my movie— "No, Macy," Harrison said.  
  
Bill Macy and Trevor Morgan walked back into the dark jungle from which they came. Behind them, they heard Steven Spielberg shout, "Action."  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Alan Grant, Ben Smythe, and Chucky Sims all stopped walking. "I think we lost them," Chucky said. "So which way should we go?" Grant pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket, and began unfolding it. It was a satellite map of Isla Sorna. "Where'd you get that?" Ben asked. "Found it in the hatchery," Grant said. "I could make a fortune if I sold this thing on eBay; selling it to some Jurassic Park fan." "Enough to fund another year of excavation?" Ben asked. "Maybe." Grant said. "According to this, if we head through this jungle we should end up on the beach."  
  
The three men marched their way through the jungle.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Paul and Eric Kirby stood at the edge of the forest; gazing in. "Do you think we will find Dr. Grant?" Eric asked. "We better," Kirby said. "Or Spielberg will have my hide."  
  
The Kirby men made there way to the river. The jungle had thinned out into a large, green meadow. In the meadow, they saw a lone stegosaurus; its back covered with a vertical row of plates, which glistened in the afternoon sun. The stegosaur lazily feed on some ferns. A little ways away, a herd of duckbilled dinosaurs clustered themselves around a brachiosaurus. The meadow was peaceful, almost a tranquil scene.  
  
"Do you think it's safe if we pass by those big dinosaurs?" Kirby asked. "Sauropods are very strong," Eric replied. "But weak-sighted. We could walk right past them, and they wouldn't even know we were there." "Good, good. Let's go."  
  
Paul and Eric walked right through the herd of brachiosaurs. Eric stopped, staring up at the towering animal. "What you doing?" Paul snapped. "We have to find Dr. Grant." "Dad," Eric said, "these dinosaurs are brachiosaurus altithorax; a very docile herbivorous dinosaur. We have absolutely nothing to worry about from these guys, believe me, I may be only a kid but there's a reason I lasted so long on this island in the last movie." "If you say so," Paul said.  
  
Eric walked underneath the closest brachiosaurus and removed a cup and a lid from the backpack that he sometimes had, and sometimes didn't have.  
  
"Continuity is a bitch in a Jurassic Park movie!" he shouted to no one. Then he looked up ... wayyyy up ... to the head of the slow-moving dinosaur. "Hey, brachi, mind if I get a sample for my collection?"  
  
He held up his pee cup, smiling and waiting for the river of dino substance. Nothing happened though.  
  
"Helloooo?" Eric said. "Son, get away from that giant cow thing!" Paul Kirby shouted. Paul wasn't about to let himself get trampled; so he ran away from the herd.  
  
As Eric looked over at his cowering father, the brachiosaur decided to comply with the boy's request. Brachiosaur pee erupted from the dinosaur, completely drenching Eric.  
  
"Get out of there!" Paul yelled in a serious tone.  
  
Eric would not relent, though. He needed this for his collection. He lifted up the pee cup, trying to catch some of it. In his haste, he was running back and forth, side to side, up and down, over and under, when suddenly he found himself in the wrong place at the very wrong time.  
  
Another larger brachiosaur walked forward and squished Eric Kirby.  
  
"NOOOOOO!" Paul yelled.  
  
Eric's dino pee cup was lying on its side, the brachi pee spilling out.  
  
Paul Kirby stood there, not knowing what to do next. Coming back to this island was the worst idea, in the long sad history of bad ideas. It now had cost the loss of his wife and now his son. Was returning in a Jurassic Park sequel that important, he'd put his family in danger? At the time he thought it would be a great family adventure, but it turned into a nightmare. No wallet, not even it was the most precious thing in the world to him, it couldn't replace his family. And he still hadn't even found his lost wallet.  
  
Should he just go home? Or still seek out his wallet, wherever it was on this island.  
  
All of a sudden, a small pack of pachycephalosaurus charged into the meadow. Paul Kirby turned to face the herd. He couldn't help to laugh. Riding on top of one of the dinosaurs was the man who was on the bicycle. "Whoa," the man shouted, as he held tightly to the dinosaur's neck. The pachyphalosaurus kept on bucking; the man was thrown off the dinosaur's back, landing hard on the ground.  
  
The man jumped back to his feet, as he yelled, "Get back here! I wasn't finished with you yet!  
  
The pack of pachycephalosaurus ran wildly throughout the meadow, and the man chased after them.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Grant, Ben, and Chucky made their way through the jungle, guided by a large moon overhead.  
  
All of a sudden a high-pitched ringing, like those of a sat-phone, erupted. "What was that?" Chucky asked. The ringing continued.  
  
A few yards ahead were four mounds of dinosaur poo. Chucky continued, "That's several big piles of shit." He pulled his shirt up over his face. "Find the phone," Grant said. "You mean you want us to dig through dinosaur shit?" Chucky remarked. "Yes," Grant said. "I won't do it!" Chucky said.  
  
Grant shoved his hand into one of the dung-heaps and pulled out a sheet of paper. "This is your contract for the movie, and it says you will be digging in some dinosaur poo." "I still refuse," Chucky snapped back. Stepping out of character, Tom Green said, "I want to talk to my agent. Someone get my agent on the phone."  
  
"I can't take anymore," Sam Neill snapped, stepping out of character.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Tiffany Taira, the film's director, walked onto the sound stage. "What's the problem Tom?" "I'll tell you what the problem is," Tom Green (Chucky Sims) snapped. "That son of a— "No need for that type of language," Tiffany interrupted. "Sorry," Tom said. "The problem is they want me to dig around in that dino shit." "I don't see the problem," Tiffany said. "You didn't put up and fuss when they had you put a live mouse in your mouth in Road Trip. Yet you won't dig around in a pile of fake dinosaur dung." "What do you mean," Tom said. "This shit's fake? "You think we'd use real dung in this film?" Tiffany asked. "The dinosaur poo is a mixture of oatmeal with chocolate syrup for color." "Yeah Tom, you could eat this shit with a spoon if you want," Jason Biggs (Ben Smythe) said. "Forget the spoon," Tom Green said, as he scooped up handful. Taking a bite he added, "This shit tastes good." "So now will you finish this scene?" Tiffany asked. "Yeah," Tom said.  
  
"One would think a guy who jerked off an elephant and a horse wouldn't have a problem digging in dinosaur crap," Sam Neill said disgruntled. "I heard that," Tom said as he walked up to the mounds of poo.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Chucky Sims plunged his arms into one of the dung-heaps. And after a few moments of searching, Chucky said, "I've got something. I've got something!  
  
Grant and Ben turned to Chucky. Clearing away clinging defecation, he held up a beeper. Still, the phone continued to ring.  
  
Everyone returned to their bleak task, shoveling their way through it with their arms.  
  
"I've got it!" Grant said. He quickly cleaned it off. It was a small cell phone. He pressed the "talk" button. Before he could say anything a voice said, "This line is tapped so I must be brief." "Who is this?" Grant asked. Ignoring the question the man continued, "They may have underestimated how important you are. If they knew what I know, you would probably be dead." "What are you talking about? Grant snapped. "Who the hell is this?" "Isn't this Neo?" the man asked. "Wrong number pal." "Oh, sorry," the man said. "But if you happen to see Neo, please give him the message." "Yeah. Sure thing." Grant said.  
  
"Who was that?" Ben asked. "Some guy looking for someone named Neo," Grant said.  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Paul Kirby really not sure where he should go, continued walking along the edge of the jungle. All of a sudden his cell phone began to ring. He pulled the phone out from his pocket. "Yeah?" Kirby said. "Thanks a lot Bill Macy," said a female voice. "By the time I finally confirmed the rumors on the Internet were true of me staring in the next Jurassic Park film, you go out and ruin it for me." "Keira Knightley?" Macy said. There was no answer. The connection had ended.  
  
Up ahead Kirby saw someone walking around. He ran towards the man and grabbed him by the shoulder; turning the man to face him. "Billy!" Paul Kirby said, surprised to see him. "What the hell you doing here? Have you seen Dr. Grant? "One question at a time, Kirby," Billy Brennan said. "I thought Alan was with you." "He ditched me," Kirby explained. "Now what are you doing on this island?" "Had to make my magical reappearance," Billy said. "I saw the pteranadons kill you in the last film," Kirby said. "You don't know anything about the movie business do you? You can't kill the good-looking hero boy. It would cause all the non-nerdy girls to stay away from this franchise. So I had to at least make an appearance. Yeah, by the way Kirby, have you seen my wallet?" "Actually yeah," Kirby answered. "Do you know where it is?" "Yeah," he said as he reached into his back pants pocket to pull it out. "Did you ever find your wallet?" "Sadly no," Kirby said, pulling out the wallet, but he was about to hand it to Billy, he realized he had two wallets in his hand. Astonished, Paul Kirby exclaimed, "I found my wallet!" "Wait a minute, time out, stop the press," Billy Brennan said. "Are you telling me that you had your wallet with you this whole damn time?" "It appears that way, so yes."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant, Ben Smythe, and Chucky Sims stood at the edge of the jungle, on what appeared to be once a service road. Directly ahead, the trees along side the road had been beaten down, creating a gap in the foliage. Suddenly an animal the size of a hippopotamus casually crossed the road. The animal was pale brown, its skin covered with bony crests. A curved boy crest surrounded its neck, rising from the crest were two blunted horns. A small third horn protruded just above the nose.  
  
"Oh my," Chucky Sims said. "Isn't she the most beautiful thing you ever seen?" Grant said. "Is that a tricera— "Yes," Grant interrupted. "A triceratops. A young one, by the looks of it." "Must be," Ben said. "Cause there's its mommy." Ahead of them, a much larger triceratops crossed the road; easily twice the size of the first one.  
  
The pair of triceratops paid no attention to them, as they passed through the gap, and descended down a hillside, disappearing from view.  
  
A few moments later, the characters continued down the road. Abruptly a phone began to ring. Ahead, on the edge of the road sat a beaten up phone booth. The ringing continues.  
  
Chucky Sims ran over to the phone booth picked up the phone, "Yeah," Chucky said. "Isn't it funny you hear a phone ringing and it could be anybody," said a voice on the other end. "But a ringing phone has to be answered, doesn't it?" "What?" Chucky said "Don't even think about leaving that phone booth." "Wrong number pal," Chucky said, he is about to hang up the phone and about to step out of the phone booth. "It's not in your best interest to disconnect with me," the voice said. "Somebody may get hurt." "Is that a threat?" Chucky said. "What the hell do you want from me?" "If you step out of that phone booth dozens of little dinosaurs will attack you," the voice said. "That's bull shit," Chucky Sims snapped. "Really now Chucky Sims," the voice continued. "Why don't you try and leave." "Fine," Chucky said, as he slammed down the phone.  
  
Chucky is about to step out of the booth when the phone rang again. He picked it up. "What the hell do you want from me?" Chucky yelled.  
  
Grant and Ben now stood next to the phone booth. "Come on Chucky," Grant said. "Hang up the damn phone already. Let's go!" "I can't," Chucky tried to explain. He told them what the man on the phone told him. "What should I do?" "You really believe that a dinosaur will attack you if you hang up on him?" Grant asked. "This is pathetic." He yanks the phone out of Chucky's hand and slammed it down on the receiver, pulling Chucky out of the phone booth.  
  
The two stood outside of the booth for a minute. "Do you hear or see any dinosaurs coming to get you?" Grant asked. "That guy was just messing with you." "Yeah," Chucky said. "Guess you're right. Let's get out of here."  
  
Grant, Ben, and Chucky turn and began walking down the road when all of a sudden a pack of compsognathids began jumping out of the foliage; right at Chucky. One of the compys jumped onto Chucky's back. Chucky flung his arms wildly, knocking the animal off, but in the process he lost his balance and fell to the ground. Another compy sprang on him and took a nip out of his hand, as another lunged at his face.  
  
Chucky looked down at his hand in horror; blood was flowing over his entire hand. He tried to stand back up, but four more compys jumped on top of him; nipping at him furiously.  
  
"I guess he was right," Ben said to Grant. "He should have stayed on that damn phone."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Paul Kirby and Billy Brennan followed a trail up a hillside, which turned into a field of long elephant grass. "I've seen this before," Billy Brennan said. Thinking out loud he continued, "I've seen this before, but where? Ajay Sidhu was standing over there," he said pointing to edge of the grass to his left. "He mumbled something. What was it? Oh yes, I remember. He said, "Don't go into the tall grass." He paused and looked at Kirby. "You sure it's safe to pass through here?" "I'm not the dinosaur expert," Kirby said. "That's why we brought Grant. Anyways, I didn't write a scene where we go into tall grass. But I also didn't write a scene where Grant abandons us either."  
  
Paul Kirby started walking into the grass. Billy now remembered the entire scene from The Lost World. He was torn between his better judgments and chasing in after Kirby. They could easily find a way around this field. "Ah hell," Billy said, running into the field, after Kirby.  
  
Neither of them saw in the distance three animal heads rose up slowly from the long grass, watching them.  
  
Billy caught up with Kirby and both continued through the field oblivious of the animals watching them. Behind them, four more heads rose from the grass. Suddenly the grass started to ripple, as the four animals moved forward towards them, like torpedoes.  
  
Without warning, Billy Brennan was pulled to the ground. Standing over where Billy was, Kirby saw a long, lizard-like tail rising up.  
  
"Why did I come into the long grass?" Billy shouted. He turned his head, trying to get a look at his attacker. It was a velociraptor.  
  
The raptor sunk its teeth into his backpack; snapping its head violently, ripping the pack off of him. Billy rolled away from the creature, as the raptor concentrated on disemboweling his pack.  
  
Billy slowly stood to his feet. His eyes widened when he spotted another raptor running straight at him at top speed. Billy Brennan with nothing he could do, he just closed his eyes, and willed it to all be over soon.  
  
The velociraptor snarled as it slammed his body to the ground.  
  
Paul Kirby froze, not knowing what to do. Should he go back and try to save Billy? Or only worry about his own survival?  
  
A lone raptor head rose above the tall grass, right in front of Paul Kirby. The raptor leapt high into the air towards Kirby. When out of nowhere a large pteranadon swooped down upon the raptor and snatched up the raptor with its rear claws.  
  
The velociraptor snarled as it tried to break free from the grip of its adversary. Two raptors began jumping up at the pteranadon; who was struggling to keep flight, its massive wings flapping up and down, just barely hovering six-feet above the ground.  
  
The pteranadon shrieked as one of the raptors ripped off a piece of flesh, causing the creature to drop the raptor. As it did, another raptor jumped up and ripped a chunk of flesh from its wing, not letting go when it began to fall back down, it pulled the pteranadon down with it.  
  
The pteranadon tried to break free from the raptors jaws, but couldn't. One raptor bit down on the neck, killing the animal.  
  
Paul Kirby ran the rest of the way through the elephant grass, as the raptors began to devour its kill.  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Sam Neill (Alan Grant) and Jason Biggs (Ben Smythe) sat on the edge of the set waiting for their next sequences to be filmed. In the dark far corner of the sound stage, where Stan Winston stored the unused animatronics for the day; a soft moan seemed to come from that corner.  
  
Sam and Jason both looked towards the corner. "What was that?" Jason asked. "I don't know," Sam said. Standing up, Jason said, "I'm gonna check it out." After a few moments Sam decided to follow, so he stood up and followed Jason.  
  
Another moan came from the corner. Jason saw Stan Winston facing the backside of the animatronic spinosaurus; his pants were down to his knees. When Jason realized what he was doing he shouted out in disgust, "Beastiality!" "Huh? What?" Stan Winston said startled, dropping a tube of lubricant. "Oh, hi Jason." Seeing Sam Neill coming up, he added, "Sam. I was just greasing the pistons in her legs. Yeah." "Stan," Sam Neill said, "over the years you have created many different types of animatronics: from aliens, to a teddy bear, the terminator for Christ sake, even the dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park films. You could have made yourself a very attractive animatronic woman." "Can you please pull your pants back up?" Jason asked. "Oh, yeah," Stan Winston said, quickly pulling up his pants. Trying to get the spotlight off him, Stan added, "So what's it like staring in a film where you don't have to fuck a pastry?" Jason Biggs stared at him. "I would rather fuck a hundred pies than one of your machines!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
The sun was about to set, and Paul Kirby continued walking along the edge of a dark jungle. He paused to wipe his forehead with the back of his arm. He needed to find a place to spend the night, before it got too dark. Kirby recalled from the previous film, for every scary thing they saw in the daylight, there were ten times more of them out at night.  
  
Suddenly a faint rustling came from the bushes, off to his left. He turned to look at them, hoping he could get a glimpse at the source of the sound. Abruptly, with no warning what appeared to be a bird, shot out from the bushes.  
  
The bird began circling around his head, pecking at his skull. "Shoo, you damn bird," Kirby snapped, as he tried to scare the bird away. "Go on now, shoo!" Despite his effort, the bird wouldn't leave him alone.  
  
Paul Kirby tripped over a broken tree branch, as he continued trying to shoo the bird away. Suddenly the bird disappeared back into the thicket.  
  
He was about to continue, when he heard rustling again. The bird re- emerged from the jungle; flying back to Paul Kirby, until it was hovering directly in front of him. It squawked. Even though Kirby was no paleontologist, he knew this animal wasn't a bird at all, it was totally featherless. It was a baby pteranadon.  
  
Thinking it was harmless; Kirby reached his hand out to the flying dinosaur. His hand less than three inches away from it, the pteranadon lunged forward and bit down on Kirby's middle finger. The baby pteranadon tugged at the flesh of his finger with its tiny jaws.  
  
"Let go, let go," Kirby cried out. His finger still in the pteranadons mouth, blood starting to pour out from its beak. Finally the pteranadon let go, and a small chunk of flesh had been ripped off the tip.  
  
The pteranadon flew back into the jungle.  
  
Paul Kirby didn't move, expecting the little flying dinosaur to return once more, but after waiting for a few minutes, he decided it was safe to continue on his way.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The sun was slowly lowering in the sky as Alan Grant and Ben Smythe walked along the edge of the jungle.  
  
Alan Grant and Ben Smythe strolled along the edge of the jungle, as the sun was beginning to set. Grant stared up at the cloudless sky, as a large full moon began to fade in. "How much further to the coast?" Ben asked. Grant unfolded the map and started examining it. Staring at the map, he said, "Should be anytime now. As soon as the jungle ends we should be able to see the beach."  
  
After a few minutes of walking, the jungle abruptly ended and formed a lush sandy beach.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Paul Kirby quickly hiked along the jungle, when he heard the sound of rushing water. He stopped to listen, then suddenly began to turn and run into the jungle. The sound of rushing water was getting louder by the second. The jungle thinned and a sandy beach lay before Kirby; in front of him was the river. Near the center of the river, several large boulders lay just above the surface of the water.  
  
Standing on one of the boulders was a short man; only wearing a loincloth. Kirby stood on the riverbank watching the man. With no warning, the man dove into the river.  
  
A few moments later, the man emerged from the water, with a fish in hand. He climbed back onto one of the boulders, and starts whacking the fish against the rock.  
  
The man hadn't noticed he was being watched, and started to sing, as he continued whacking the fish against the rock. "The rock and pool is nice and cool, so juicy sweet! I only wish to catch a fish, so juicy sweet!" His singing turned into humming. The fish almost wriggled out of his grip but he whacked it once more on the rock.  
  
The fish lay still on the man's hand. The man licked his lips, and was about to take a bite of the raw fish when Kirby shouted, "That's disgusting! Aren't you going to cook it?" The man turned, looking across the river at Kirby, his eyes wide open. "No." With that the man began to devour the raw fish.  
  
Paul Kirby was about to turn and walk away when an idea came to him. Turning back to the little man he asked, "You know the way to the coast?" The man looked up, the fish in his mouth, and nodded. He swallowed the bite. "Yes." "How far is it?" Kirby asked. "You've been there before?" The man nodded again. "Yes. "Will you lead me to the coast? This time the little man didn't reply. "And reward for your help," Kirby said, as he slipped off his wedding band. "I'll give you this. It's no use to me anymore."  
  
The little man's eyes widened, and he dove into the river, emerging right in front of Paul Kirby. The man scrambled onto the shore, over to Kirby and snatched the ring out of his hand.  
  
Smiling, the little man holding the ring in the palm of his hand, said, "My precious." "You will lead me to the coast," Kirby said.  
  
The little man scrambles off along the river; Paul Kirby follows.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The little man stopped as he put his hand to his ear. "Listen, listen, we lead you out." Kirby listened, not hearing anything. "I don't hear anything." "Listen."  
  
Paul Kirby cupped his hand around his ear. Very faint, the sound of water rushing on shore could be heard. "I hear it!" Trying to start a conversation, Kirby continued, "What's your name?" "My name. . . My name. . . S. . . S. . . Sméagol" "Thanks for your help Mr. Sméagol," Kirby said. "I'm Paul Kirby."  
  
Sméagol scurried around, then stopped. "Come on," he said. "Sméagol will show you the way."  
  
Chapter 16  
  
Paul Kirby and Sméagol made their way down a narrow trail that led back into the dark jungle.  
  
Not sure if he wanted to go back into the jungle, Kirby said, "You sure you know the way to the coast?" "Yes," Sméagol hissed, as he ran further ahead.  
  
Sméagol scurried into some dense jungle foliage, Kirby trying to keep up, pushing aside two large palm fronds, and stepped out onto the white sandy beach.  
  
Sméagol was standing at the waters edge; his back to the water. "See, Sméagol knew the way," he said. "Yes you did," Kirby said. He turned to look down the long, sandy beach, searching for any sign of Grant or Ben.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant and Ben Smythe stood on the edge thick jungle, staring out at the beach. Stepping onto the beach, Ben said, "We made it." "Yeah," Grant replied. "Any idea of how we are going to get off this island?"  
  
Not paying attention to what Ben said, he was staring down the long beach. "Oh my God," he mumbled. Standing two-hundred-feet down the beach stood the man he never expected to survive on the island. Standing there was Paul Kirby.  
  
Seeing Grant and Ben, Kirby began waving at them. He ran towards them, Sméagol followed. "Dr. Grant, Dr. Grant," Kirby shouted as he ran.  
  
Once Kirby reached Grant and Ben, he continued, "You wouldn't believe what I have been through in the last twelve hours." "How the hell did you survive?" Ben said. Kirby pulled a book out of his pocket. "Cause of this," he said. "Glad I picked up that book in your trailer, Grant." Grant just stood there shaking his head. "Who's your friend?" Ben asked "My guide," Kirby answered. "Meet Sméagol. Anyways, what's the plan to get off this island?" "It's getting dark," Grant said. "Best thing we can do is set up camp and worry about leaving in the morning." "Good idea," Ben said. "Ben and I will begin setting up a camp site," Grant said. "Kirby you and your friend go gather up some fire wood." "Okay," Kirby said. He started walking towards the foliage, as he added, "Come on Sméagol."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant assigned himself to gather palm branches to construct some type of shelter, while Ben Smythe would dig a fire pit.  
  
The sun was now beginning to set.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Paul Kirby and Sméagol quickly picked up armloads of firewood, and were making their way back to the beach. The jungle was alive, the sound of birds chirping echoed throughout the jungle, and sounds of small creatures scampering about.  
  
A loud roar erupted in the distance. Suddenly the jungle became still. Kirby looked at Sméagol; dropping this arm full of wood, he started running; Sméagol following behind quickly. After running a few yards, Kirby suddenly tumbled over something, falling on his back.  
  
Kirby lay on the ground, got a glimpse of what he tripped over. He sat up, and turned to face it. In the dimming light, Kirby saw a little brown creature, which stood no taller than three-feet. It had a large football shaped head; a long narrow neck connected to a chubby little body. Its arms were extremely long, which supported four long fingers.  
  
Paul Kirby's jaw dropped. "Oh my," he managed to say. "You're that little alien from Spielberg's film: ET: The Extra-Terrestrial. If I remember right, you liked reeses pieces, don't you?" He pulled a bag of candy from his pocket. "What some?"  
  
The little alien looked up; its big blue eyes piercing into Kirby's soul. "ET phone home," the alien said softly. Pouring a handful of recess into his mouth, he said, "You sure you don't want some?" In a louder tone, ET repeated, "ET phone home. ET phone home!" "You got to call home? Wife making you check in?" Kirby said, as he pulled his cell phone from his other pocket. "I know all about that. When I've been out with the fellas too long Amanda—" "ET phone home!" ET snapped. "Okay, okay," Kirby said. "Here." He handed the alien the phone.  
  
"Put the phone down," came a voice. Out of nowhere, two men wearing black suits and sunglasses were suddenly standing next to them.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Kirby demanded. "INS. Division 6," Jay answered, as he took a business card from his breast pocket. "Excuse us for a moment, will you? We're just gonna have a little chat with our friend here." "What do you think about that one, Jay?" Kay asked, pointing at Sméagol. "A new species from the intergalactic system? Somewhere on middle- earthville?"  
  
Sméagol began shaking his head. "Me no alien. Me Sméagol. Sméagol no alien!" Putting his hand on Sméagol's shoulder, Kirby protested, "I won't let you take Sméagol." "You have no say in the matter," Kay said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tubular metallic device, the size of a pocket recorder. He continued, "This is called a neuralyzer, a gift from friends from out of town. The red eye here isolates and measures the electronic impulses in your brain. More specifically, the ones for memory." "What the hell is going on here?" Kirby snapped. "What are you talking about?" "Exactly the right question," Kay said. "And the answer lies right -- here. Pay attention." "Who are you guys?" Kirby said. "Just a figment of your imagination."  
  
Kay held up the neuralyzer. Kirby peered closely at it, suddenly a blinding flash, a tenth of a second long seared Kirby's eyeballs. "You're lucky we found you when we did," Kay said. "After a blast like that you're lucky to be alive." "What are you talking about?" Kirby asked. "What blast?  
  
Kay gestures behind him, where Jay is packing ET in a small cage. "Underground gas vein, genius." "I don't have any idea what you are talking about," Kirby snapped. "We're on Isla Sorna, just about to finish production of my movie."  
  
Turning to Jay, Kay said, "The neuralyzer must be broken." "Should you try the back up plan?" Jay asked. "What back up plan?" Kirby asked concerned.  
  
Jay walked over to Kirby, as he formed a tight fist, and swung it at Kirby. Knocking him out. "That's the back up plan," Jay spat. "Let's get going Jay," Kay said.  
  
Just as fast as they arrived, they disappeared, taking ET with them.  
  
After a few minutes, Paul Kirby slowly woke up. He looked around the small clearing, trying to regain his surroundings. The men in suits were gone, and so was Sméagol. He stood to his feet, and picked up the firewood he had dropped; and ran for the beach.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Alan Grant set up a small shelter, while Ben started a small fire. Both still waiting for Kirby to return with the firewood. Finally, Paul Kirby stumbled back into the camp. Dropping the wood, he said, "You wouldn't believe what's in that jungle." "Dinosaurs," Grant said. "Oh no, there's more than dinosaurs in that jungle," Kirby insisted. "There was an alien in there. And two men wearing black suits and sunglasses came to take it away." "You've been watching too many movies Kirby," Ben said. "I'm not lying." "Yeah, sure. We believe you," Ben said.  
  
Grant stood up and walked to the shelter as he said, "I'm going to try to get some rest."  
  
The production crew also headed to their tents for the night, all but Tiffany Taira. She grabbed her cell phone from her bag and headed down the beach, away from the camp.  
  
* * * * *  
  
On the other side of Kauai, Hawaii, Steven Spielberg sat in his trailer talking on his phone. "Yes Tiffany," Spielberg said. "When in hell you going to get me out of here?" Tiffany Taira said. "Bill Macy is driving me and my crew crazy. Sam and Jason have tried to ditch him, but somehow he found them." "Really," Spielberg said. "That's what Bill told me when he stumbled onto the Indiana Jones 4 set. The nightmare will be over soon. We should be there first thing in the morning. Trust me, Bill Macy will get what he deserves." "He better," Tiffany said. "See you in the morning. Bye." Spielberg set the phone down as he said to himself, "I'm gonna get you Macy. You'd better bet your bottom dollar I don't find you!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Tiffany Taira walked back to the camp and into her tent. In the morning it would be all over.  
  
Chapter 17  
  
The sun was rising over the thick jungle of Isla Sorna, Grant and Ben sat at the campfire drinking their coffee. The others were still asleep.  
  
"So what's the plan?" Ben asked. "Should we try to sneak away again?" "There must be a boat house somewhere around the coastline," Grant said. "And with any luck there's a boat that's still sea worthy."  
  
Tiffany Taira and her crew set up their equipment, knowing something was going to happen when Spielberg arrived, and they had to capture it on film.  
  
A thumping coupled with a whirring sound steadily got louder, when suddenly two military helicopters appeared in the horizon. Tiffany picked up a pair of binoculars; staring in them she watched the choppers rapidly approaching the island.  
  
Alan Grant looked up seeing the aircrafts. "Forget the boat idea. We're gonna get off this island in one of those!" He ran to the edge of the water, waving both arms in the air. "Over here! Hey!"  
  
Ben joined in. "Hey! Over here!"  
  
Paul Kirby lying in his tent awoke to the sound of the helicopters approaching and Grant yelling at them. "We're saved!" he said to himself. He quickly stood up, pulling up his pants and putting his shirt on; he stumbled out of the tent, racing to the water's edge to join the others.  
  
One of the choppers hovered above the jungle, while the other slowly began to lower to the sandy beach. As soon as the craft was on the ground, Steven Spielberg scurried out of the chopper. "Sam, Jason!" Spielberg shouted over the sound of the helicopter, as he ran towards them. "Thank God you both are all right." "Steven," Sam said nodded. "I have to apologize for all of this," Spielberg said. Turning to Bill Macy, "You ruined it all for everyone who was suppose to be involved with the production of Jurassic Park 4." "We are still getting paid for this," Tiffany demanded, as she approached. "Aren't we?" "Ummm," Bill Macy said. "Don't tell me," Sam Neill said. "The check you gave them is no good." "Yeah," Macy said. "I will make it up to all of you. Even if I have to mortgage everything I own, and sell myself for shampoo testing. Doesn't matter how long it takes, I will make it up to you, even if it takes me the rest of my life." "However long that is," Jason Biggs said. "Let's go home," Steven Spielberg said, as he signaled the other chopper to land. "Let me get my stuff," Bill Macy said.  
  
As Bill Macy quickly gathered up his things, something fell out onto the ground. Sam Neill walked over and picked it up. It was a brown wallet. "Hey, you dropped Billy's wallet." Paul looked at Sam with a proud smile. "Oh, no, Sam. That's not Billy's wallet. It's mine! Isn't that wonderful?" Grant was confused. "When did you find your wallet?" Jason walked up next to Sam and said, "Yeah, when?"  
  
Bill Macy slapped his forehead and began to shake his head back and forth, as if to say the stuff he was about to say was very easy to forgive. "Well, that's funny story really!" "Spit it out," Sam said. "Well, it turns out...I had it with me the whole time!" Everyone was silent, staring at him. "Isn't that funny? Ha!" Sam Neill marched up to Macy, growling. He grabbed the wallet from Macy and threw it in the ocean.  
  
"Hey!" Kirby shouted. He was about to go after his wallet, when he realized everyone was getting on the chopper. He followed, vowing to hire and/or kidnap the crew from the Abyss to get it later. "Don't bother following," snapped Spielberg. "Why not? I'm going with you guys," Kirby said. "You wanted to be here so badly, that's what you're getting," Spielberg explained. To the others, he continued, "Now everybody get aboard. Let's go. Oh, Ms. Taira, I believe there are two gentlemen onboard who have been looking for you."  
  
With those words, Tiffany looked at Spielberg oddly and then towards the chopper, as two men climbed out of it. The first she recognized as Micah Prentice, dressed in a white shirt that had the Jurassic Park logo on the front and said "I've survived Jurassic Park" on the back with baggy blue jeans, a solid black cap, skater shoes, with a pair of wire-framed glasses, and the other was Micah's older brother, Rick Arnold, dressed in his almost clichéd blue Hawaiian shirt with a black Jurassic Park tee shirt, pin- striped Yankees cap, tan shorts and white sneakers with a pair of wire- framed glasses. "Micah? Rick? What are you doing here?" "We came to save you, of course!" Micah said, as Rick walked over to Sam Neill. "Holy shit, you're Sam Neill!" Rick said, shaking hands with him. "Yes, I reckon I am." Sam said, just wishing they'd leave. "Wait, but how did you guys know where to find me?" Tiffany said, disrupting Rick's conversation. "How did we get here?" Micah said, stalling as everyone looked on. "Well, that's a whole entirely another story!" "I hate to break up this reunion, but let's get the bloody hell out here." Spielberg said.  
  
The helicopter rotors whirled to life as the chopper waited a few yards away. One by one, Sam, Jason, Tiffany Taira and her crew, followed by Micah, Rick, and lastly Steven Spielberg climbed aboard the two choppers.  
  
William H. Macy just stood there, watching as the helicopter immediately rose into the air. Sam Neill stared out the window, looking down at Macy.  
  
The two helicopters flew towards the interior of the island. Through the window, Jason Biggs watched as Stan Winston's animatronic team operated the tyrannosaur in the valley below. They made the rex's head tilt upward, trying to get it to stare up at the choppers as it loudly thundered above. The animatronic tyrannosaur's mouth opened, as if it were roaring; but no sound came out.  
  
A herd of various types of dinosaurs stamped into the valley; creating a massive cloud of dust. The dust darkens. The screen went black.  
  
Universal Pictures Presents  
a Kirby Enterprise Production  
a Tiffany Taira Film  
  
The Lost Wallet: Jurassic Spoof tm  
  
directed by  
Tiffany Taira  
  
written by  
Micah Prentice  
  
produced by  
Rick Arnold  
  
executive producers  
Jon Sattelberger  
Joseph Roy  
  
production designer  
Micah Prentice  
  
edited by  
Micah Prentice  
Joseph Roy  
Tiffany Taira  
Yvonne J. Bartha  
Rick Arnold  
  
based upon characters created by  
Michael Crichton  
and  
Peter Buchman  
  
Sam Neill  
(Alan Grant)  
  
William H. Macy  
(Paul Kirby)  
  
Jason Biggs  
(Ben Smythe)  
  
Tea Leoni  
(Amanda Kirby  
  
Tom Green  
(Chucky Sims)  
  
Bill Pullman  
(as himself)  
  
Trevor Morgan  
(as Eric Kirby)  
  
* * * * *  
  
William H. Macy stood on the beach, staring out at the open sea. "What the hell," he said to himself, as he ran in full flight towards the water. Wadding till it's just above his knees, he dove in; a slash, disrupts the still water. Macy pulled his arms, drawing himself into deeper water.  
  
He took a breath and plunged himself underneath the surface and started swimming farther away from the island.  
  
After a few moments he stopped, and looked around to see how far out he was. HE was in the mist of a thick fog, unable to see the coastline. He could only see a few feet ahead. The water was still, when suddenly he felt something scrap across his side; as a ripple of water passed next to him. "What was that?" Macy said to himself.  
  
Suddenly the waves began to rise and fall, lifting him up and easing him down again. He turned around, just in time to see a water-hump racing for him. A panic look struck his face, as the water-lump continued racing towards him. All of a sudden, he was jerked below the surface. Frantically, Macy struggled his way back to the water's surface. Out of breath, Bill Macy just started swimming back for the shore. But another jolt pulled him under once again. One of his hands clawed the air, fingers trying to breathe, then it too was sucked below in a terrible jerking motion  
  
Suddenly we get absorbed into the thickening fog, not able to see anything, we only hear Macy break the surface again. As the screen fades to darkness, we head the last screams of William H. Macy.  
  
The End.  
  
I would like to thank all those who helped me write this story, in no  
order:  
  
Tiffany Taira: thanks for always being there for me. See you directed  
your first film (  
  
Joseph Roy: thanks also for some creative ideas for the story,  
  
Yvonne Bartha: thanks for helping me whenever I had problems with wording  
on some scenes.  
  
Rick Arnold: thanks for ideas to making this story even better. Thanks  
bro.  
  
And last but not the least, thanks for everyone who read the story.  
You guys ROCK! 


End file.
